The Causeway Corporation

The Causeway Corporation

The Causeway Corporation building could be seen by astronauts in space. The curiosity of every generation, questioned if there was even a top, and children counted the windows to the roof, but as their necks got sore, they lost count. It was everyone’s goal to work in the tall building with a roof that no one, even those employed there, had ever seen.
The Causeway Corporation was named after Mr. Causeway. Ever since he made his first 50 cents, he knew the only thing he wanted was to make money, and he would do it by any means necessary. His business now was business development.
Thomas worked as an accountant in the Causeway Corporation. He was thankful for his job, he was good at it, and he couldn’t see himself doing anything else. However, when Thomas was a kid he was a dreamer. His head was always in the clouds. He didn’t remember the transition from a dreamer to being so called by the book which is what he was now. Some of his fellow employees would even go as far to say he was anal. There was no real spark in his life. His life was based on routine.
He rarely ever complained, even after that ex- employee walked out and occasionally came back to steal the office supplies. Thomas still didn’t complain, even though every Monday he had to go to the supply department to get more tape, pens, notepads, calculator, and a desk chair.
Thomas figured they had escaped to go on vacation, and they wouldn’t come back. He saw a brochure that read Jamaica on his desk. Thomas figured that was where they had gone. It was his little joke that no one laughed about.
One Monday, Thomas was waiting in a line at the supply department to get his supplies back. Eddie was in front, and Eddie didn’t like his job as an accountant in a large corporation.
Eddie did a little bit of work then he would go to the other employees to chew the fat until the employees went home for the day.
“Hey, Thomas,” Eddie said.
Thomas didn’t like Eddie so it was hard for him to say a ‘Hey,’ back.
“Wow,” said Eddie, “We are getting close to the front of the line. I think I am going to go back to the end of the line.”
Eddie did this all the time on Monday. Thomas stayed in the same spot so he could get his supplies and go back to work.
Eddie left, and Thomas figured he wouldn’t get his supplies until Wednesday.
Closer to the supply department, Thomas noticed his boss. He liked his boss.
Also Thomas noticed Suzie, who Thomas liked a lot not, just as a friend, but like in marriage. Thomas had a problem with talking with her, because he liked her so much.
Thomas started singing.
“I like the way you walk I like the way you talk…oh Suzie Q.”
Suzie heard that song 20 times a day from Thomas, and she was tired of it.
“How’s it going Ms. Q.?” Thomas asked.
“Actually it is MS. Smith.” Suzie said.
Thomas started singing the song again only this time he added her last name, and it didn’t fit.
The two of them were close enough to the front of the line that their boss could hear the exchange.
The boss looked at the supply manager.
“You see most of my day is hearing complaints like this. Meanwhile we don’t know where all the supplies are going.”
The supply manager smiled.
“We need locks on the doors, so people who leave can’t come back.”
The boss scratched his chin. “Locks?”
“My supplies are in Jamaica. I saw a brochure on my desk.” Thomas said using his real voice.
“They’re not in Jamaica. I bet it was that ex-employee.” The supply manger announced.
“Okay we’ll put locks on the doors. Who can deal with the complaints?”
“Well, I give resources for humans to do their job but humans need resources. Human resources?”
“That can be a whole other department.” The boss said.
The supply manager started handing out supplies to Thomas. As Thomas’s arms got full his boss nodded at him.
“I will be in your office in about a half hour. I have something to discuss with you.”
Thomas’s arms were full, but still he manages to get out. “I am waiting for you.”
Thomas went back to his office.
In a half hour Thomas’ boss showed up. Thomas’ door was wide opened so he just walked right on in.
“Hi, Mr. Jenkins.” Thomas said.
Mr. Jenkins stayed at the door and looked around outside of Thomas’ office.
“Would you mind if I shut the door?” Mr. Jenkins asked.
Thomas figured he was in trouble because of the Susie Q. comment he had made earlier in the day.
Mr. Jenkins shut the door and sat down in a chair in front of Thomas’s desk.
Thomas figured he would start.
“I am sorry about what I said to Suzie. I didn’t realize…”
“Forget about that,” interrupted Mr. Jenkins, “Listen, I have a business proposal for you.”
“Business proposal? Am I being promoted?” Thomas asked.
“No, you are not being promoted. What do you think of Jamaica?”
“Jamaica? I have never been there.”
“I would like you to get onboard with Mr. Coltrane-“
“Mr. Coltrane?” Thomas inquired.
He went on to asked. “The old director of human resources? Whatever happened to him?”
“He works for me now in Jamaica.” Mr. Jenkins answered.
“Doing what?” Thomas asked.
“Let me finish.” Mr. Jenkins said, as he went on to say.
“Mr. Coltrane and Tom…”
“Tom, the guy who has been stealing our office supplies?” Thomas inquired again.
“Yes,” Mr. Jenkins hesitated, “We are going to have a scuba business in Jamaica.”
“The Causeway Corporation is getting into scuba diving?” Thomas asked.
Mr. Jenkins started getting irate and impatient.
“Listen we are starting our own business, and we need an accountant.”
“What about my job here?” Thomas asked.
“Corporate America is unholy. Corporate America steps on the small guy to make a buck.”
“So you want me to quit to be in business with you?” Thomas asked.
“I want you to be fired.” Mr. Jenkins answered.
“Fired? I have never been fired. Besides this is a good job.”
“Let me tell you something about The Causeway Corporation. Because of us, the powers that be are tearing down homeless shelters, buying up soup kitchens, not to mention taking control of businesses that hire people that will be laid off. You want to know why?”
“Why?” Thomas asked.
“So that Mr. Causeway can control our little town city. You don’t want to work for him. For awhile I have been slowly but surely destroying this corporation. I was supposed to pick a security system- a high dollar system for the safety of the corporation. I haven’t done anything. I haven’t been doing much here. I was suppose to hire a human resource guy three months ago. I guess I sometimes play dumb. I even hired Eddie.”
“Well, why would I want to go into scuba diving and help out a bunch of yuppies on summer vacation?” Thomas asked.
Mr. Jenkins shrugged his shoulders.
“Not just yuppies but also the physically handicapped.” Mr. Jenkins answered.
“The handicapped?” Thomas asked.
“For people in wheelchairs, to be underwater is to be in an environment with no gravity. It is therapy for them.” Mr. Jenkins answered.
“Mr. Coltrane owns a boat and is already down there. I know a guy in Jamaica who has all the scuba diving equipment, and Tom is a certified diving instructor. Tom is also stealing company supplies so we don’t have to buy any for a long time.”
“Why now? Why do you feel the need to help the physically handicapped?” Thomas asked.
“Helping people is my new paycheck. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Mr. Jenkins answered.
Mr. Jenkins went on to say, “Ever since I have stopped taking over other businesses that either help out the community or help people I have experience a rebirth. I’ve forgotten my own problems. I have become addicted. I can’t see myself doing anything else.”
Mr. Jenkins’ passion was inspiring, but still Thomas had more questions.
“Why do I have to be fired? Why can’t I just put in my two weeks?”
“It is the prerequisite for the job. Get fired, and then be instantly rehired by me.”
“How long do I have?” Thomas asked.
“Two days. You get fired tomorrow by me, and the next day we go to Jamaica. We already have your ticket”
“Why me? Why not Eddie?” Thomas asked.
“Eddie hasn’t done an honest day’s work in months possibly since he was hired that is why I hired him. It is all apart of the plan. Besides that, I want you, because it would hurt Mr. Causeway himself.”
“Are you going to be fired?” Thomas asked.
“Well, the work has just been collecting on my desk and I was supposed to hire a new human resources guy weeks ago.”
Thomas understood that it was only a matter of time until Mr. Jenkins’ got canned from his job as well.
“Can I have some time to think about this?” Thomas asked.
“You can go home early.” Mr. Jenkins’ answered.
Thomas snickered.
The two men stood up from their chairs and shook hands.
“Now, do you want to see acting that should be awarded an Oscar?” Mr. Jenkins’ asked.
Thomas smiled.
Mr. Jenkins opened the door, and yelled at the top of his lungs in the direction of the other employee’s work stations.
“Stop singing Suzie Q! I don’t care if Credence Clearwater is your favorite band!”
Mr. Jenkins’ looked back at Thomas and whispered.
“I would like to thank the Academy.”
Then he left leaving Thomas staring at the brochure of Jamaica.
Outside it was winter. Flurries in the shape of tiny cotton balls were falling but not sticking. The wind was howling and felt like tiny needle pricks of cold air. Thomas decided he would, in fact, go home but first he had to put on his sweater, overcoat, scarf, gloves, and toboggan. He also brought the brochure of Jamaica. He, however, left his brief case containing some work he had to do at home.
Thomas left his office, waving at Suzie and got into the elevator to go down.
Thomas entered his apartment shivering. He took off his winter apparel and decided to take a hot bath. He took the brochure with him.
“I’ve never gone scuba diving before,” Thomas thought to himself.
Thomas added bubbles to his bath and continued to think. He couldn’t see himself working for anybody except Mr. Jenkins. Mr. Jenkins had hired him, and now he wanted to hire him again for a very different job.
The pictures in the brochure showed pictures of a bluish greenish ocean and white sandy beaches. There were sunbathing women, even more beautiful then Suzie, in bikinis.
He began thinking about starting a new business. It is always risky, and becoming successful in these times sometimes seems impossible. But then again when was the last time he took a risk like this? It was for a good cause, and he couldn’t forget Mr. Jenkins’ passion. That was it; he was going to do it.
The next item on the agenda was to get fired. How was he going to do that? Thomas spent the rest of the night thinking about it, and came up with a plan.
Thomas woke up the next morning energized and motivated by his idea on how to get fired. It made him feel like a kid again. He put on is usual suit and tie, not because he wanted to dress this way but more out of habit than anything else. After he tied his tie he took one last look in his mirror.
“I will do it just as long as I don’t have to wear a tie.”
Thomas spent a couple of minutes looking for his brief case, which was also part of his daily routine, but then remembered he left it in his office. Finally, after putting on his overcoat, scarf, and toboggan on, he went out into the cold winter.
Entering the Causeway building, Thomas decided to put his idea into place. He got onto the elevator with Suzie and several others employees. Today the elevator was playing smooth jazz. Hearing the music, Thomas started booty grinding on Suzie who was trying to do her crossword puzzle. In a state of shock, she hit Thomas with the rolled up paper and yelled.
“Back up!”
This didn’t stop Thomas. He started taking off all his winter apparel. After that he took off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. The other passengers looked on in horror. Thomas was still dancing.
The elevator stopped at Suzie and Thomas’ floor. Thomas stood in between the doors, continuing to undress--unbuttoning his pants and unzipping his fly. The doors of the elevator began to close then they opened up again but because Thomas was in the doorway.
The other passengers started yelling for him to move and to put his clothes back on. Finally Suzie pushed him out of the doors, and they both left the elevator. Thomas followed her, snapping his fingers and doing his Chippendale’s dance.
Several of the employees stopped what they were doing to watch Thomas. Mr. Jenkins stepped out of his office to see what was going on. Thomas noticed that Mr. Jenkins was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cut off shorts. He also had sunglasses in his shirt pocket. There was a big smile on his face.
Thomas followed Suzie to her office. Suzie slammed the door in his face as Thomas slid off his pants.
Surprisingly events like this had happened before at the Causeway Corporations--several times in fact, when employees become too stressed. The other employees would stare, and after the crazed employee was taken away, the events became a story to be told time and time again at the water cooler.
Suddenly Mr. Causeway showed. It was a rare appearance and Thomas stopped for a minute, saluted, and then moved closer to Mr. Causeway. Quickly Thomas grabbed Mr. Causeway’s hip with one hand and his hand, and as everyone watched they started ballroom dancing.
“Stop this at once!” Mr. Causeway yelled.
“Oh, come on!” Thomas shouted back.
Mr. Causeway pulled his hand back and forced himself away from Thomas, and stumbled.
“Stop this dancing! There isn’t even any music! Where’s Mr. Jenkins? Mr. Jenkins!”
Mr. Jenkins raised a finger and said. “Yes, Captain.”
Mr. Causeway turned around to see Mr. Jenkins. His eyes widened in anger when he noticed what Mr. Jenkins was wearing.
“Dispose of this employee!” Mr. Causeway roared as he straightened his tie and regained his dignity.
“You’re right; he should be dancing to classic rock.” Mr. Jenkins concluded.
Mr. Jenkins went into his office and turned on his radio. It was a classic rock station and Led Zeppelin was playing. Thomas went over to Mr. Jenkins and started slam dancing.
“Mr. Jenkins! Mr. Jenkins!” Mr. Causeway yelled.
Mr. Jenkins stopped, but Thomas kept on going.
“The board will want to discuss your most recent behavior immediately.” Mr. Causeway said as calmly as he could.
Mr. Causeway went to the elevators and disappeared into one. The doors began to shut then reopened continuously. Mr. Causeway threw Thomas clothes out of the elevator and yelled.
“Put on your clothes!!”
The music was still playing as the ship went slowly down.
Mr. Jenkins asked Thomas to step into his office, and as Thomas went in, Mr. Jenkins shut the door. Since the excitement of the morning appeared to be over, the other employees went back to work.
Meanwhile in Mr. Jenkins’ office, Thomas was the first to speak.
“I will not wear a tie.”
“I don’t think they have ties in Jamaica.”
They both laughed.
“You’re fired.” Mr. Jenkins laughed hysterically.
“Did you see the old man’s face?” Thomas asked, laughing as well.
“The plane leaves at 10:00am tomorrow, and we will be waiting for you at Gate 7.”
“And you will have my ticket?” Thomas asked.
“Yep, and you should pack light. Don’t bring everything you own. They charge an arm and a leg for luggage nowadays.”
“Okay.” Thomas said.
“By the way, my name is Rick.” Mr. Jenkins said.
Thomas had worked for Mr. Jenkins for years and never knew his first name.
“Okay, put your clothes back on, and I will see you tomorrow.” Rick said.
“Have fun with the Board of Directors.” Thomas said standing up to leave.
“I know I will.”