Colors of Lost
It was a new beginning. Those big confining doors that had held him in for the last two years were now opening for him, and only for him. He smiled as only a free man could smile.
Two guards escorted him to the gate at the end of the court yard. He stopped and turned. His eyes wandered until they stopped at a single window caged behind bars. He smiled and turned at a familiar face straining to get his attention. He waved then started walking again.
“Don’t take this personally, Jake, but I hope I never see you again,” said one of the guards with a chuckle.
“The feeling is mutual,” Jake said.
“There is a half-way house a couple blocks down this road. There’s someone there who’s expecting you.” Jake nodded his head, and started walking through the gate, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk as only a free man could. The street he followed was passed its prime and he could see that it too had aged during his incarceration. The buildings were old. Some still the home business, but most had been condemned years ago. Despite the darkness which overwhelmed the street, the sun was shining on him that day. He noticed a new shade a green on the grass and trees which was different from the institutionalized green to which he was accustomed. That made him smile.
He thought that there must be a strong force holding him back from jumping and singing because the burden finally was lifted from his shoulders- he was a free man. Jake quickened his pace to his new home. While walking he noticed other people walking, an old couple playing cards enjoying themselves, and kids in a playground laughing and playing tag. It was a perfect day, and Jake was apart of it. Excitement enveloped him and he burst out in a light jog all the way to the half-way house to which he had been assigned.
When he arrived at the house, there was an iron gate surrounding it, proving freedom was still at a distance. There was a shadow over his temporary home which had five steps leading to the deteriorating front door. The whole house looked depressing, and he noticed that this was the only part of the street where it looked as if the sun wasn’t shining. The house seemed to say, “No Entry.”
“Well, Jake, you have to start someplace,” He said to himself.
He walked through the gate, up the broken crumbling steps, and knocked on the door. An old man with a white beard and a rough streaked face answered the door. Jake could tell he owned the place and had to tussle with past visitors to eager to wait for their own freedom.
“You must be Jake, let me show you where you will be living for awhile.”
The old man led Jake up some stairs and down a narrow hallway.
At that point he began repeating a speech that he probably said a thousand times.
“We do not rehabilitate people here. It’s just that the town of Paradise feels like we should keep a close eye on our clients before we let them back into society”
“Blah Blah Blah, in God we trust and other bullshit,” Jake chuckled under his breath.
“Quiet! We don’t entertain people here either. Your sheets and towels are on the bed. You have to clean up after yourself, because I am not a maid service. Breakfast is at 5:30, lunch at 12:30, and dinner at 6:00. I don’t cook for late comers. You have to have my permission to leave. Curfew is at 10:30pm sharp. This is your room.”
He pointed to a mediocre room with a single-sized bed with navy blue sheets lying beside white towels on top of a warn mattress. There was a small window with bars on the outside and a small desk that looked like it was balancing on three legs instead of the visible four.
“We got you a job bussing tables at the restaurant down the street. The boss went through the same program you are going through, and it must of done him good he owns the place. You can go down there when you are finished with your room by the way my name is Noah.”
Noah slowly stepped back through the hallway favoring his left leg. Then stopped and sighed.
“If you need anything, ask.”
Jake watched the old man slowly shuffle his feet back to the stairs. He went into his room, and noticed the window beside his bed with the curtains drawn. He opened them so the warm sun could shine in. To his surprise there was a clock radio on a table near the headboard beside the bed. He turned it on (to a station that was clear enough for him to hear) while he was putting his sheets on the bed. When he was done he turned up the volume and started to sing along to the joyous melodic tunes of an oldies station.
Suddenly he heard Noah’s stern voice from downstairs, “What do you think this is, a frat house or something? Get moving! The place you are looking for is out the door—not in your room! It’s called Al’s!” Jake quickly tuned off the radio and trotted downstairs where Noah was staring at him apprehensively. Freedom was still awhile away.
“Thanks, Noah, “ Jake said as he went immediately out the door sensing Noah’s judgmental eyes on his back.
Couldn’t hurt to remember to say, “please or thank you.” Jake thought to himself.
On his way to his new job, Jake wondered what it would be like to work in a diner. He had never done that before. The times that he had gone to one, he remembered the expressions on the employees’ faces having to take the “What do you mean don’t have what I want?” Questions from the customers. After that he started to hate the idea of working in a diner, but he remembered that Noah had said he would be bussing tables not waiting on people. This job was something to pass the time. At this point in his life he seem to always have too much time to pass.
Finally after walking (and following the directions Noah had given him), he saw a sign in big bold letters that said Al’s, beside it was a small building that looked like it could only fit a few people at a time which would be a plus. Jake entered Al’s; he looked around the diner. He could hear silverware clanging against porcelain plates and mindless chit-chat all through the diner. The smells of overcooked bacon, burnt toast, and stale cigarette smoke tormented Jake’s nose, but there was one sweet smell that didn’t belong in this environment. The scent broke through the food odors along with fingernails creating a rhythm of their own with the other sound of the restaurant. He scanned the restaurant to locate that strange but wonderful scent.
The restaurant looked like someone’s dream come true that wasn’t completed. There were several people sitting in booths. The red cushions were poorly put together. They looked like the front cover of a personal copy of Cather in the Rye. To Jake’s right was a counter where five men looked over their left shoulder at the face they’ve never seen before. In front of the counter was a walkway that led to some double doors then a table where the wait staff got the drinks for the customers. Jake then was drawn back to the source of the scent which was a woman at the cash register in front of him. Jake went closer, she looked up.
“May I help you?”
After seeing her eyes that reminded him of a sunrise he once witnessed when he was in jail. He had suddenly forgotten why he was at the diner.
Seeing Jake staring around the room a few times she said, “You figure out why you are here while I go get this order, by the way, my name is Janis.” Jake watched her go to the counter where some older gentlemen were.
“What do you want Lloyd?” Janis asked with a bored slur.
“Give me eggs and toast, and do you think Al can cook the bacon so it doesn’t taste like cardboard, or should I have the sausage?”
A heavy set man with a tired expression on his face, entered the eating area through the double doors.
“You better make it sausage,” explained Janis as she watching the man walk into the diner.
“Don’t start with me today, Janis,” the man sighed.
“Just kidding. Al, order up,” announced Janis.
Al sighed again, “Lloyd can wait.”
Suddenly it hit Jake why he was there. “Al, my name’s Jake, and I think you have a job for me,” Jake said with the enthusiasm of a fresh recruit.
Al was caught off guard by Jake’s enthusiasm. “I’ve seen that look in a man’s eyes before. You must be the guy they are going to send me from the parole program.
“Damn, Al, you would hire anybody including an ex-con! You got something against women or something?” Janis said.
Despite Janis’ insult, she could have said most anything about him. Her attitude and flaming red hair came in a package.
“Oh, shut up, Janis, and go fix Lloyd’s breakfast.”
“You are the laziest SOB I’ve ever met,” said Janis as she went into the kitchen slapping a towel on the counter in defiance.
Suddenly a pail disgruntled figure with a black eye entered the diner. I looked like his skin had a small fit which showed his fragile bones, and when he walked it looked like he had a ball and chain attached to his body.
“Who’s that guy?” Jake whispered.
“That is the dishwasher. We call him, Softy,” then Al yelled out, “having a little trouble with the Mrs, are we Softly. That explains why you are so late for work today.”
Softy stopped abruptly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
The patrons at the bar snickered. Softy put his head down in shame in the presents of their laughter, and went to the kitchen.
“Did his wife do that?” Jake asked.
“Ah that’s nothing you should of seen what she did to him when I brought him home drunk on New Year’s Eve.” AL explained.
“I guess she controls him.” Jake determined.
“Yep, it seems like she is the female version of Mohamad Ali. Isn’t that right Loyd?”
Loyd gave a toothless grin. “She was the one that proposed. I would hate to see what Ms. Ali would have done had Softy said, No.”
Suddenly Janis stormed through the kitchen’s doors, she slammed Loyd’s food on the table and then went back to the cash register to finish the job of counting the money which she had been doing when Jake came into the diner.
“You’re like a tornado Janis.” Loyd said as he started eating.
Al started randomly going over the job description.
“Jake you can come in here everyday at 6:30 am. You always wear an apron- everybody has to. When you first come in you start prepping. Get four dozen eggs, and the aluminum bowls out…” AL stopped, when he noticed that Jake had a confused look on his face.
“Okay, I’ll explain everything you need to know when you come in tomorrow at 6:30. It’s an easy job you can handle. You don’t work on Tuesday’s and Sunday’s. The cooking is my job, and sometimes Janis cooks. She thinks I’m sexist for making her do it.”
“You God damn right!” Janis interrupted.
“I know that a woman’s place isn’t in front of a stove. They screw the eggs up, but I would rather have Janis there then Softy.” Al announced this to both Jake and Janis.
Lloyd then finally got up from his clear plate after he gobbled it down.
“I have to go to work.” He said as he paid Janis.
He then looked at the new face creating change in his second home and left.
“That man has worked at the same job for about 35 years. I have never seen a man so true to his job.” Al said to no one imparticular slightly in admiration.
“He’s up for retirement, isn’t he?” Janis asked.
“He won’t even if he had a gun to his head.” Al said as he watched Lloyd get into his truck.
Al then turned to Jake.
“I will see you bright an early tomorrow at 6:30. Don’t be late.”
“Yes sir,” said Jake then he left, and went back to his new home.
He respected Al and wanted to give a good first impression to him. After all Al paid his debt and made it. He had something that he can call his own. Jake wanted to be able to say the same thing.
The next morning, Jake woke up without any trouble, because he was looking forward to working for Al.
If he was strong enough to make it in prison then why couldn’t he make it in a diner? Jake thought.
He put his clothes on, and made up his bed. Noah was in the kitchen cooking up the worse stinch Jake had ever smelled so he decided to skip breakfast and went down the stairs and out the door.
“I’m gonna be late, Noah, I gotta go.” Jake said even though he had several minutes to spare.
While walking down the vacant street, the early morning sunrisen haze reminded him of Janis. He entered the restaurant, and AL greeted him with a waffle and two slices of bacon.
“Noah cooks like shit.”
“Did that inspire you to be a cook?” Jake asked.
“That and I always enjoyed cooking for people.”
Al laid the food on the counter.
“Now hurry up and eat. We have work to do.”
Al returned to the kitchen. As Al went in, Janis came out with her hands full of silverware, and packages of napkins. While walking to one of the booths, she accidently dropped some silverware. Jake was quick on his feet to pick it up. Handing it to her he said.
“You look nice today Janis.”
“Thank you, Jake.”
After this brief exchange she went back to setting the table in the restaurant. Jake, feeling a sense of rejection, went back to his waffle. For the next 15 minute period the only thing that could be heard was Janis setting the tables, and Jake finishing his waffle.
Al entered the room and quickly noticed the awkward silence.
“You know what that sound is kids?”
Jake and Janis looked at him curiously.
“Chemistry!” Al chuckled having heard the dialogue between the two.
Not to be out done Janis sneared.
“Think again.”
Then she scurried back to the kitchen for more silverware and to cover up her red face.
Jake just smiled knowing his face was just as red as Janis’ hair.
After Janis was out of sight, Al quizzed Jake.
“You are taking a liking to Janis, aren’t you?”
Jake tried hard to change the subject.
“So when do people start coming?”
Al saw what Jake was doing, and understood that Jake didn’t want to talk about his first rejection since he got out of prison.
“They usually arrive at 8:30.” Al said as he ducked under the counter and came back up with two aprons.
“Here put this on.”
Jake put the apron on.
“Have you finished breakfast?” Al asked.
“Yup.” Jake said.
“Give the dishes to Softy and the aluminum bowls.”
Al and Jake both walked to the kitchen. Jake handed his dishes to Softy who was scrubbing a burnt metallic pot. Seeing the dishes, Softy, dropped the pot in the sink forcing grease stained dishwater to splash on his face. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Damn it.”
Softy took the dishes from Jake, and placed them gently in the dirty dishwater.
Jake went to Al’s station at the stove, picked up the metallic bowls, and walked over to Softy. Softy picked up the metallic pot he was scrubbing earlier. Jake handed the aluminum bowls to him, and Softy dropped the pot in the sink so he could take them from Jake. This time water splashed on both of them. Jake snickered.
“Damn it!” Softy yelled.
“Problems with the wife?” Jake asked.
Softy took the bowls from Jake.
“I love my wife very much.” He whimpered.
“Hey, Jake, get me four dozen eggs from the freezer.” Al ordered while he pointed to the corner of the kitchen where the freezer stood. Jake did so.
“The bus trays are under Softy’s sink.” Al directed.
Softy was on his hands and knees trying to soak up the puddle that he help created. Jake slid over the wet floor around him, but the bustrays secured his fall.
“Sorry.” Softy whimpered.
Jake nodded. “It’s alright.”
He walked over to AL with the bustrays.
“Softy are done with those bowls, yet?” Jake asked.
“Almost.” Softy got up from the floor and started scrubbing the bowls.
Al wanted to know more about Jake so he decided to ask.
“So where did you used to live before you were-“
Jake interrupted.
“I used to live on Birch.”
“You mean you lived in one of those big houses on Birch Street?”
Al went on to ask.
“How do you like it here?”
“I love it.” Jake said flatly.
“That surprises me. If I lived in one of those big houses I would never be in a place like this. I always dreamed about being so rich that I could complain about everything like the amount of bubbles in my champagne.” AL laughed.
“I’m glad I don’t live there,” said Jake, “People there like to show off their money.”
“So what’s wrong with that!” Al snapped.
“It’s already plotted out. Anything different is seen like a bad thing.”
“What do you mean?” Al asked.
“You go to the best school, and if you don’t you are looked down upon.”
Jake emotions turned to apathy. He went on to say.
“While you are in school you meet a girl. I use to have no problem meeting a girl. Then you graduate. You marry the girl, get a job in business, and talk about it at the country club. It’s like their unwritten rule.”
“I don’t understand.” Al concluded.
“If you don’t follow the rules or decide it isn’t for you then people will think you are a failure or something. It’s all wrong. It’s none of their business. I was unsatisfied living there.”
“So it all about your rep there too?” Al asked.
“The same ole bullshit,” Jake concluded. “Nobody asked how you’re feeling or if things are okay. They ask for your resume.”
“Like today if I still lived over there, my dad’s driver would of driven me to work just to show off.” Jake went on to say.
“I don’t think your driver would drive in this neck of the woods.” Al laughed.
“This was seen as the bad part of town.” Jake said.
Al sighed.
“It’s always been a good home for me.”
Softy finally came over with the bowls, laid them on AL’s table, and walked back over to the sink.
“It’s about time, Softy.” Al snickered.
Al redirected the attention to Jake.
“SO where are your parents?”
The expression on Jake’s face changed.
“They are deceased,” explain Jake.
Jake changed the subject.
“Let me ask you a question.”
“Why did you have to go to prison?”
AL tried to give him his best answer.
“You know what Jake that was a time in my life I don’t like to think about. I don’t mean to put a damper on your feelings towards this town, but coming from personal experience you may change your mind wants you freedom sets in, and those emotions that were caged in find you again.”
The conversation was interrupted by three police officers entering the restaurant.
“What’d you do man? You just got out of the box. What’s you do?”
Al said nudging Jake with his shoulder.
“Nothing. I didn’t do anything.” Jake said in frantic paranoia.
Al shook his head and laughed.
“I was only foolin’. They come in here all the time.”
Jake took a sigh of relief.
“I’ve seen enough of these guys. Why can’t they eat some place else?”
“Jake seat them and take their drink orders, and don’t be a smart elic.”
Al stressed each point with a fist. He went on to demand.
“Treat them like any other paying customer. Take it and move on.”
Jake walked through the swinging doors of the kitchen, and walked over to where the police officers were sitting.
“What would you gentlemen like to drink this morning?”
One of the officers said, “Coffee.”
The second officer took one look at Jake and laughed.
“It’s a P.P Boy.”
“P.P boy?” Jake muttered under his breath.
“What’s a P.P. boy?” The third officer asked.
“Parole program boy, Rookie.” The second officer said.
“Nice apron.” The Rookie snickered.
The police officers laughter projected throughout the restaurant so even Al could hear in the kitchen.
“Why don’t you P.P. dance on over and get me a glass of o.j.”
“This one looks like he is a few floors short of a skycraper,” the Rookie said.
“I’ll have a coffee.”
Jake’s own personal past experience with the cops had taught him that no matter what he thought about these assholes he was facing, the least response would be the best one.
“Would you gentlemen like anything else?”
“UUUuuhhhhh,” The first cop was still playing out to be difficult, “mmmm I think…”
Jakes eyeballs did a 180.
“NO get my coffee.”
“Your waitress will be with you in a moment.”
Jake left the police officers in the midst of their laughter, and hurried to the kitchen to get Janis for the table. Janis walked passed him with sympathetic eyes as she got out her note pad from her front pouch. While Jake got the drinks ready, he eavesdropped on Janis’ technique in handling these particular customers.
Al came out where Jake was preparing the drinks to get himself a glass of water.
“Those guys still have no idea what’s in my BLT.”
Al shook his head and went back to the kitchen to light the stove.
Janis arrived at the table and got her pen ready.
“Do you all know what you want yet?”
Before either of the cops could answer the Rookie interrupted.
“Well, honey, I’ll have a waffle and you on the side.”
“Sorry, sir, that is not on the menu.”
Janis said with an unimpressed voice.
“What about a side dish of Softy?” Al yelled from the kitchen.
“Uh whuh?” The Rookie asked.
Suddenly the doors swung open with Softy and a side dish along with Al’s laughter followed by Jake’s. Softy stopped in front of the police officers beside Janis. He raised the side dish, and placed his chin on it.
“Uh? What kind of place are you running here?” The Rookie asked slightly in terror.
Janis laughed, and the other two police officers followed.
The Rookie looked at Janis.
“I think I will change my order to a BLT.”
Softy went back to the kitchen, laughing with his side dish.
One of the officers spoke up.
“BLT sound good.”
“I’ll have one too.”
Janis wrote the orders down while she smiled.
“They should be ready in a couple minutes fellas.”
Janis went back to the kitchen and yelled.
“Three BLT’s.”
Janis then helped Jake with the coffee.
“What a bastard.”
Janis cursed yet she was still smiling.
“No kidding,” Jake agreed, “What’s in the BLT, Janis?”
“Don’t ask.”
They both carried the coffee to the table. The Rookie didn’t say anything this time.
++++++++++
Any other new employee might have thought the morning was grueling and tiresome. There was a line of customers from the front door to the cash register waiting to be seated. Janis looked Jake in disgust because he had a smile on his face as if he was enjoying himself. Even though the work was hell it was still a first taste of freedom.
Lloyd and his construction buddies were sitting at the counter. They hated that their favorite hangout had been under siege by these uninvited guess in the blue uniforms that morning. Every new face that entered the restaurant received a glare as if they were breaking some unwritten law. After some empty threats under their breathe to customers, they retreated because the line was getting bigger. Business was good.
“Why is all these people here?” Lloyd asked.
Another construction buddy had to raise his voice over the crowd.
“They are feeding Al’s ego. After today he’s going to think he is a good cook.”
Another one of AL’s friends raised his voice knowing that the new faces could hear him.
“It’s like they have no where else to eat.”
Lloyd then turned to Jake who was sorting silverware.
“I heard you just got out of prison. Welcome to Paradise.”
Jake looked up at Lloyd but there was nothing inviting in Lloyd’s face.
After another cup of coffee, Lloyd and his construction crew each reached for their pocket at the same time. Each one pulled out an anti-acid. This was an unspoken clue to Janis to get four waters with no ice for them. She placed the cups in front of them, and simultaneously they dropped the tablet into each of their personal glasses, starting with Lloyd down the counter.
The individual plops reminded Jake of a musical scale played on a xylophone. He looked at them to see if there would be an encore.
After the fizzing filled the restaurant they took a big gulp at the same time, paid the bill, and walked out the restaurant. Lloyd led the men like he was their messiah.
“Today is payday. We are leaving to get our checks, we will be back in a little while.”
Lloyd called out as they left the restaurant.
The crowd in the restaurant finally died down, and soon there was hardly anyone there.
“You’ve done good Jake,” Al replied, “now go outside and have a cigarette break.”
“I quit smoking in prison, sir. It gave me something to do.”
“Well, in this business I highly recommend it. I’ll have one with you.”
They worked their way through the kitchen, passed Softy on the verge of tears overwhelmed from the stack of dirty dishes, to a back door where they exited. They both leaned against the outer walls of the restaurant. AL lit his cigarette then gave a lighter and a cigarette to Jake.
“Thank you.” Jake said.
For awhile there was nothing said. The only thing that was passed between the two was the smoke rising above their heads. Al sensed uneasiness from Jake’s body language.
“What’s on your mind Jake?”
“I was just thinking about what you said before about my freedom “setting in,” Jake answered, “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
“Well, when I was on parole like you, I also had it with a friend of mine. At first we thought how great it was to be free that was until we had to mix with these animals.” AL replied as his facial expression turned to sadness.
Al went on to say.
“We found out it was more of a struggle to be pushed back into the world then being confined.
Jake was silent as he listened to AL’s advice being told from first hand experience.
“People in this town like any other town don’t usually forget about a man’s past. My friend thought it would be better to go back to the life he had grown to be used to.”
Jake shook his head thinking that wasn’t him, but he wasn’t sure.
Al cleared his throat. Jake didn’t know if it was because of the cigarette or because he thought AL was going to cry.
“He robbed a convienant store. I never got the whole story, but I heard he killed the clerk so he got arrested again. Prison created the monster that killed the clerk.
Jake was speechless.
Al stood up and looked off into the distance.
“I hate to discourage you kid, but you will start to miss those walls.”
AL flicked his cigarette, and started to go back inside.
“The lunch crowd should be getting in here any minute now.” AL announced.
Jake flicked his cigarette and then followed LA inside the restaurant. AL went to the grill, and Jake walked to Softy who stood in the dishpit with an invisible weight on his shoulders.
“I hate this job.” Softy whined.
There was so much on Jake’s mind that he didn’t even hear Softy’s attempt in conversation. Jake then went towards the eating area and Softy followed.
“You okay Jake?” Softy asked.
Jake went through the double doors sliding his feet not saying a word.
“What did you say to him Al?” Softy asked.
“I told him what to expect in his new life.”
There was some regret in Al’s voice.
“What do you mean?”
“Wash your dishes.” Al said bitterly.
+++++++
At 11:30 lunch was served in the restaurant which consisted of Lloyd and his buddies. They were dressed in their work clothes. Lloyd was carrying a black case. The men set down in their same seats at the counter almost as if they were assigned to them. Lloyd cupped his hands so he could call out for AL.
“Hey, AL, I got something to show you.”
Al came through the double doors to see what Lloyd wanted to show him. Lloyd opened the case up to reveal his new Colt .45 revolver with an ivory hand piece.
“Lloyd!” Al yelled. “What have I told you about bringing fire arms in my restaurant?”
“You said don’t bring in anything that a normal respectable person wouldn’t bring in.”
Lloyd said with a smile.
“Hey Al do you want to go outside and shoot something.”
“It shoots like a dream Al.” Charles sais who was one of Lloyd’s buddies.
Lloyd started to make gestures like a cowboy during a show down to try to tempt Al into giving in.
“Lloyd stop waving that thing around. You’ll scare the customers.”
Lloyd obediently put the gun back in it’s case.
“Just wanted to show you.” Lloyd apologized.
“Besides we are the customers.”
Just then a late model BMW pulled up in front of the restaurant. Everyone watched in silence. Lloyd and his buddies were stunned to see a car like that in their part of town. Jake was cleaning off one of the booths that was from breakfast.
The man who was driving the BMW was wearing an expensive suit that seemed to clash with everything in the restaurant especially the people. Even though there were several clean tables, the man sat down at a dirty one. A table where a family had eaten at and left a huge mess for Jake to clean.
Jake stopped cleaning the table he was at and immediately went over to the table the man was sitting at. The people in the restaurant still had their eyes set on the man who didn’t belong in this part of town.
“Hurry up young man.” The man said with the double breasted pin stripe suit.
“I am going as fast as I can, sir.” Jake answered.
“Not good enough, I didn’t get to where I am at today by letting people like you slow me down.”
Al overheard the conversation and was enraged.
“Hey easy on my new employee. We’v had a busy morning, and your rable will be cleaned as soon as possible.”
“I don’t have all day.” The man demanded.
“Well why don’t you go someplace else if you think you’re too good for this one!” Al yelled proudly like it was a privilege to be in his restaurant.
“I don’t have to take this,” the man yelled, “good luck with your business.”
He stormed out of the restaurant with his nose in the air as Al and Janis waved sarcastically.
“I wonder how he can see where he is going with his nose so far up in the air, yuppie scum.” Lloyd snickered.
Everyone laughed except for Jake.
Al whispered to Lloyd.
“You better watch what you say Jake here came from Birch Street.”
“I don’t mind that’s not me anymore.” Jake explained.
“Birch Street?” Lloyd questioned. “What did you do to put yourself into prison, cheat on your taxes or something?”
“You don’t have to say anything, Jake, if you don’t want to.” Al said.
“I might as well or what Lloyd might make up could be worse than the truth.”
The members of the restaurant settled to listen to Jake.
“My parents threw big fancy parties. They invited their friends and told them to invite their friends. They had the best food, music, and the most expensive champagne.”
Al sighed and shook his head like he knew that Jake would later regret telling his story. Despite this Jake went on to say.
“The party that night was like any other. It went on late into the night and early next morning. When the birds started chirping, people began to go home. After awhile no one was left except me and my parents.”
Janis did her chores quietly so she could hear Jake’s story.
“My dad was still pouring champagne even though there was no one to drink it. I guess he figured he would have to. My dad was telling me how he met my mom with the same brand of champagne. My mom was tipsy. She stumbled to get her shoes off, and then she announced she was going upstairs. My dad soon followed.”
Jake didn’t make eye contact with anybody. In fact he was still at a table slowly and quietly cleaning. Jake went on to say.
“I took another glass of champagne and went on the balcony to smoke a cigar. The whole neighborhood was quiet except the birds. He birds eventually stopped for a minute. Soon after I heard two voices one seemed older. They were coming from below the balcony. I stood very still as I heard the older voice tell the other one that people in this neighborhood always left their doors unlocked. The older voice then said, this should be an easy job.”
Lloyd’s eyes widen like an alley cat’s in an oncoming car’s high beams. It was as if he heard the story before. He didn’t say anything, because he wanted to hear the rest of it to make sure.
Jake raised his head from cleaning, and turned around to engage his audience.
“I understood then what the voice meant by ‘job.’ They were going to rob my parent’s house. I heard broken glass. I was scared. I started to hear footsteps coming towards me. I dropped the cigar. The footsteps stopped. Maybe they knew someone was aware of their presents. I heard footsteps under me, and towards me again stepping closer but cautiously. I then came in contact with my dad’s concrete statue. I think it was one of the apostles.”
Jake buried his face in his hands. Then he smoothes them away from his mouth so he could talk.e
“The split second that I saw the stranger’s head away from the balcony, I threw it down. The statue hit the person in the head. He went down. I looked over the balcony and saw that it was an older man. I figured he was dead.”
Jake looked around at all the faces listening. They were shocked. When he looked at Lloyd, Lloyd put his head down like he didn’t want to hear anymore.”
Jake continued slightly hesitating.
“Then I remembered that I heard two voices. I quietly went inside and made it up to my parent’s room. I heard a gunshot followed by another one. The sound pushed me back. I made it to my parent’s room where I saw the man that changed my life. He looked down at the two bodies-my parents. In his right hand he was holding some of my mom’s jewelry, in his black glove. He saw me then pushed me out of the way it all happened so fast I didn’t get a good look at his face. I ran after him. We went through the front door, and past our gate. I didn’t know what I was doing. He tripped before the road, and I fell on top of him. I started beating him. He tried to use the gun, and I somehow beat it out of his hand. I was still beating him, when I picked up a rock that had the family name engrave in it. The next thing I remember is being convicted of murder. The lowest count- If it was on my property, I wouldn’t of had to go to jail-“
Lloyd stood up abruptly.
“Well we have to go.”
Anyone could tell that Jake’s confession had affected Lloyd. So much so that Al’s diner was the last place he wanted to be. He left with his colleagues behind him.
Al noticed the uncomfortable silence projecting itself in the restaurant so he decided to end it.
“Jake, I think we are going to close early. It looks like a slow afternoon.”
Al walked over to where Jake was standing. He put his hands on Jake’s shoulder.
“Maybe it was too soon. They are still trying to get to know you.”
Al padded him on the back.
“Thanks for working hard today.”
Al started to project his voice as he usually did.
“Start to mop the floor. The supplies are next to Softy’s sink.”
Jake did what he was told feeling the eyes of Janis and Softy. Softy shaking his head in disbelief went out the door because he was finished with his job.
“Why did you agree to take him, Al?” Janis asked with a puzzling tone.
“Everyone deserves a second chance. You seem to be overlooking what he witnessed.” Al answered with bitterness.
Al went back to clean the grill when Jake came through the double doors with a bucket full of soapy water and a mop I hand. Janis poured herself the last cup of coffee, lit a cigarette, and then put the tip money on the counter near where she was sitting. Jake started mopping on the opposite side of the restaurant. Slowly he turned around and noticed that Janis was staring at him as if he was a murderer. When their eyes met she went back to counting her tips.
“How much money did you make in tips today, Janis?” Jake asked.
The question shook Janis from her judgment.
“I-I think I made enough for this month’s rent.”
“You made out like a bandit, Janis.” Jake said jokingly to break the tension.
Janis then put out her cigarette got up said goodbye to everyone and left. Jake watched her leave, hoping for some insult that would indicate that they were still on the level. He never got one.

The greens of summer faded to Autumn winds blew in venegefully. Replacing the summer warmth with a grayish mood. It had been weeks since Jake’s confession, and his new job was getting old. It was Tuesday, Jake’s day off, so he decided to go for a walk to think of what had become of his past and of him. He walked up the street against the wind. He kept walking until he could hear the sound of a baseball gamee inside the confining doors, he knew so well. Tuesday there was always a baseball game on inside his old home. The infielders were talking shit to the batter as they pounded their gloves. The batter pounded the bat on home plate in anger, and then prepared himself for the pitch.
Jake put his head in between two bars and wrapped his left hand around one of the bars and his right around another, and started reminiscing.
He remembered when he had first entered prison, and the first time he played baseball in the courtyard. He was second base meaning he stood as second base, because the warden never bought bases for the inmates so they had to make up for it some how. You didn’t have a choice rather or not you wanted to be a base on the field because if you didn’t the inmated would give you hell. He could remember how scared he was because it wasn’t the safest position on the field. You couldn’t move just stand there.
During the game, there was a runner on first who decided to steal second. The catcher, who had spend some time in the minors threw the baseball straight at Jake. Jake didn’t even see the ball coming.
The ball smacked Jake right in the middle of his chest. It felt like a cannon ball. It was so painful Jake could hardly stand up, he was at least accepted after that.
He and the catcher joked around about it. The catcher said he would sign Jake’s welt for $50 bucks.
As he was holding onto the bars that had just months before held him in, Jake realized that he missed prison life. He was alone now. He had been lonely in prison but at least in prison everyone was in the same boat. It didn’t matter what your life was like on the outside before. People treated you how you handled the situation. Jake missed his old friends. It’s funny how men had broken the law can find comman ground, but men who followed the law are separated by the good part of town and the bad part of town. Jake felt secluded outside the prison bars.

Jake began a new routine of waking up early and taking crap from the unreasonable customers. He started to feel like a zookeeper, cleaning up after the animals so the tables could be messed up again and again.
Today was one of the slowest days since he had come to AL’s ever, and despite Janis’ threats, Softy, Jake, and AL were outside smoking letting her do all the work. Al and Softy headed back while Jake remained outside to smoke another one.
“I’m surprised Lloyd and his buddies haven’t come in yet.” AL said to Softy.
“Maybe they found a new place to eat.” Softy said innocently.
Janis overheard the conversation.
“Lloyd couldn’t handle a new place. He would then have to act civil.”
Al looked at Softy standing lazily in the corner.
“I’m not paying you to stand around, Softy. Go sweep something.”
Softy went through the double doors, looked back at Al, and protested.
“You’re paying Jake for smoking a cigarette.”
“Worry about your own hide, Softy,” Al yelled.
Suddenly four of Lloyd’s friends came into the diner. They looked like lost children without their guardian. Janis and Al looked at each other in question.
“Where’s Lloyd?” Janis asked.
“Yeah, where’s the fifth wheel?” Al questioned.
One of Lloyd’s friends spoke up.
“We haven’t seen him for about two days.”
Charles raised his head.
“Since he lost his job, I think he’s tending to a bottle of whiskey.”
“I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Janis said shaking her head.
“Why did you guys leave him alone? You know what a disappointment it would be for him. Christ, the man had been worked there for 35 years.” Al raised his voice making sure Lloyd’s friends were listening.
“He told us to leave him alone.” Charles answered.
Jake was still outside finishing his cigarette when he heard footsteps coming behind him.
Thinking it was AL playing a trick on him he smiled. He was stottled, however, when he saw it was Lloyd.
Jake laughed and said.
“Oh, Lloyd, it’s you how are you doing?”
Without answering, Lloyd stumbled because his weight was disproportioned. Jake noticed the half-empty bottle of whiskey in his right hand. His face was dirty as if he had fallen asleep face down on the ground. Lloyd used the wall as a guide and slowly moved closer to Jake. When the sun started to meet his eyes, he squinted. Lloyd Growled at Jake, and made his way to the back door.
“Hey Lloyd, you drunk, you can’t go through there,” Jake said jokingly, “Al doesn’t want you to go through that door.”
Lloyd ignored him. Jake walked swiftly towards him and was met by Lloyd’s colt .45.
Lloyd began to slur his speech.
“It looks like we are back where we started. Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you?”
“What do you mean?” Jake asked terrified at the sight of the gun.
“You killed my boy!”
Suddenly as if a light was turned on. Anger raged through Jake. His inner conductor was shoveling back the past like it was coal in a raging fire. He was facing the man that had help change Jake’s life forever.
“Turn around and go through the back door. I’ll be behind you, so don’t be stupid.” Lloyd threatened.
Jake did as he Lloyd told him to do. He moved slowly inside feeling Lloyd’s movements behind him from the barrel of the gun. A few pokes in Jakes back by Lloyd’s gun directed him into the eating area where everyone was seating. Immediately, they saw the look of fear and hatred etched on Jake’s face like stone hinge. As soon as they saw Jake’s face, they saw Lloyd behind him.
“Hey what is going on?” Al asked.
“He’s got a gun.” Jake said.
“Al get me all the money in the cash register.” Lloyd demanded.
Al walked briskly to the cash register to open it.
“Don’t touch it Al he’s not getting a damn thing!” Jake protested.
Lloyd poked the gun in Jake’s back.
“You thought you were so special in that big house of yours with all those expensive things. It’s funny how all your friends just turned their back on you since they couldn’t profit from you. They left you to rot in that jail cell, and now you don’t own anything like that anymore, do ya Jake?” Lloyd taunted.
“Lloyd, put down the gun. You’re drunk. Go home and sleep it off.” Al said trying to show compassion or divert Lloyd’s attention.
“Home!” Lloyd yelled, “How can I have a home? I have no job. There are no job for a 55 year old man in Paradise.”
“Give me the money in the cash register!” Lloyd yelled again this time with drunken rage.
Al put his hand in the cash register, when Jake interrupted.
“You’re not going to get any money, Lloyd.” Jake said calmly.
“Jake, he has a gun to you. Let it go. It’ll be alright.” Al said trying to ease the tension.
“You think this gun scares me? He’s already taken everything from me. There is nothing anyone can do about that. He might as well finished what he started.” Jake raised his voice.
Lloyd replied in a mocking tone.
“You think you’ve been through a lot? Try having nothing your whole life.”
“I’m tired of listening to your talk. Finish what you started,” Jake raised his voice again and then lowered it, “Maybe that is why you got fired from your construction job.”
Jake turned around slowly so he could face Lloyd. Lloyd stepped back to create more distance between Jake and the gun.
“Shoot me or quit wasting my time.” Jake demanded.
Lloyd was dumbfounded. The other employees in the diner stood frozen, stunningly with a dropped jaw. Lloyd pointed the gun to Jake’s head.
“You do realize that you can shoot me, but you will never forget me because I’m the one that killed your son.” Jake whispered so only Lloyd could hear.
Suddenly two shots rang out though the diner, and Jake’s lifeless body fell to the floor. Lloyd took one look at the shocked faces in the diner, and with the last bit of rage he walked swiftly to the cash register which was his only real intention during the ordeal. He picked it up over his head and threw it down. The impact broke the door open and the money inside scattered over the floor, some landed on Jake’s body-dead. Lloyd looked at the money that had drifted on the body and felt like he was being mocked by Jake then he turned and stormed out of the restaurant.
The people in the diner stood motionless like statues and statuettes representing a moment in history affecting the lives of the past present and future. There was no sound in the diner. Everyone left looked at the remains with disillusionment. The body underneath the artificial lighting of the diner bled the colors of lost.