Civil War

The sky is chaotic
white from cannons in the west
while rebel greys and different blues battle in the east
the clouds surpress the sky
not even the sun can peak through
It is all separated like politcs
not from day light to night time
but by a force that can be
blown away by a simple breeze
but for now it is steadfast
no one is giving up ground
we need the light to guide us
then night falls
cannon balls strike a flash
thunder sounds of boots marching in
both sides have the numbers
faces keep a distance but still stare
waiting for the first shot

Thunderstorm near the first day of spring

Sometimes the skies boil over
drenching the earth
saturating souls
washing the day clean
sparks of electricity
carry on conversations
all I can do is stare
stay up late
for the encore
that is tranquil and cool
a neighbor walks his dog
they walk underneath my balcony
"Did you enjoy the storm?" I asked
"LOved it,"he answers, "We have the door open."
They walk back up the stairs
and I am alone in the dark contented

The Art of Music

I had a guitar lesson today. It had been awhile since I was in a situation where I had to receive instruction. I had trouble focusing, and I had a slight tremor in my right hand. The tremor or shakes which is what I call it was discussed in therapy the day before. I am on strong medication and sometimes when you take a higher dose you get the shakes. There is a more scientific term for it but there is no way I could even try to spell it.
On a good note towards the end I was grasping what my teacher was saying.
I got home for the lesson and made another one. Tonight I will be practicing what I had learn.
To change the subject, right now I am thinking about team sports. I played them in my younger years and had the time of my life, but there is a point during playing when a boy does a little growing up. THis is when he realizes he can't go on to the next level. In his adult years he may play pick up games like for basketball or football but because of work and the issues that come with old age he can's play as often.
With music once you have taken away the fact that you are not going to be a rock star, the person will fine that all he needs is an audience of one. It is one thing to listen to music, you might feel the same affects as a person who can play an instrument. What usually happens is the outside noice, the outside problems evaporate. At one point of my lesson I was just thinking about the tone of my guitar. I was listening to just me not the noice that I usually hear being alone in my apartment. I think I should mention that it is never too late to pick up an insturment. YOu can practice whenever. You can practice untill you are dead.

Animal Hospital

Attraction
you were flying freely
until you met
like two planes coliding
for an explosion
an attraction in the eyes
sharing thoughts
unspoken
regulations seems pointless
you want to feel her
touch her
embrace
feel her fingertips on your spine
but you follow the rules
reduce to survivor mode
a muttering idiot
in an animal hospital
remember why you
came in in the first place
Rabbies vaccine, claws cut, yearly check up
nevermind how curly her hair is
nevermind her slender frame
you dream
that she ask you over
you bring a bottle
of red wine from South Africa
you both stare into each other
as the wine breathes
she politely pours two glasses
and sips out of her own
even though she prefers
pinot griggio
you are suddenly awaken by
the phrase, "Pay up front."

DEAR JESUS

You exist in tragedy from natuaral disasters to mankind's wars. There is unrest in the world and I am feeling disaster inside. May I lift everything to you from politics, to the varied emotional states to my mental handicap.
Dear Jesus show yourself by any means necassary rather it is flowers in the Spring or blue skies.
I hear your voice when I read the bible, and feel your pressence when I pray. OUr relationship has been rocky at best. I am a repeat sinful offender. I pray for you to forgive me again. I am restless because it feels at times we are only connected by thin strings that your father can cut at anytime. God thank you for taking it all away before. I see it as the only way that I would have followed you, but I pray that others won't go down the same path as my past.
Sometimes I just feel like staying inside with the fear of confrontation. The world is on my shoulders, because I feel I can't spread your word the right way.
Jesus I pray for the non-believers that see the church as wrong, but they don't see the will you have to make them prosper not on this earth but in heaven.
Sometimes my prayers to you are a few words, thanking you to asking for help. As simple as they are you answer. We will carry on this conversation later untill then we will walk together with at ease minds.

stream of consciences free write

Today the sky winked at me
with the sun as the pupil
dark clouds as long eyelashes
tonight cool breezes felt
with coltrane smiles
the sun warms the day
the night soothes the unrest
speak in phrases that brings the two
together
feel the smoothe caress of odoul's
and your probably laughing
I bought twelve
some boys try to behave themselves
hear engines of cars and conversations
outside the street lights are on
to put a spotlight on the shadows
and we love ourselves
with another day ending
in our keyboards
guiding these words
without home keys
and few capital letters
no distress
for spring is coming
it is climbing the stairs
like a wobbly legged child
rebirth
and we have let it be because
this is part of life
and its a new generations turn
to turn the wheels
of the clock that ages all of us

IN response to area 10 sermon on 2/27/12-freewrite

The man that gave this sermon, talked about the story about Jesus when he was in a packed house healing people and doing great things. Suddenly a parapeligic man on a mat was lowered down from the roof. Jesus saw the men, and then he saw their faith. If you know the story, what happen next. Jesus said your sins are forgiven. The men who brought the man must have had a problem with that. Jesus then asked what is easier to say your sins are forgiven or take up your mat and walk.
I have a question for you, does Jesus only show his glory in desparate times?
Some of you can't relate to my blog for what ever reason. I figure you did the straight and narrow life early unlike myself. One thing that the good doers and the rebels have in comman is we all eventually plateau. We may ask the question, what do we have to show for it?
Some of you can answer that question like I have a spouse that loves me, I have a nice house, my car is great etc. THose things don't mean a thing unless you have Jesus.
I know I personally felt better about life when Jesus came back into my life then when I was blaming everyone else for my problems. ONe thing about Jesus is he never leaves. I picture Jesus in the back ground with a person who may have gone astray. He could be biting his lip or he wants to punch your shoulder. Since he is always there I see him as being accomadating. He will give us what he thinks we can handle, even though Americans want more then what they already have. It is important to thank God for what you have.