schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a full time job and marriage. We are talking MIke Brady, six kids and a job as an achitect. When I go out it isn't to meet woman, it is because I need to get out of my apartment. I see a movie or a go to a neighborhood bar for a few beers. With schizophrenia and with any other illnesses you can either let it beat you down or do your best to live a normal life. NOrmal LIfe? Some of you are probably asking, you know what a normal life is when you have an illness, even if it just the flu.
When schizophrenia goes untreated it can be drastic-life altering. I am sure you all are aware by the gun control talks. Mental health consumer should not own guns.
NAMI is a good organization to educate yourself. Whether you have mental illness or no someone who has one check it out.

 

1/27/13 Romantizing the day

For you I wish
everything can be brand new
for a child-like wonder
for a sun rise
or Christmas day
Forget about the prosperous few
Some things are still simple and free
even when wallets are light
and rent is paid
No one is average
and we have not seen it all
as this ink dries out
lives are bullet proof
and our hopeful thoughts
decorate the skies
while you see clouds
and feel cool
the blues seeping through
invade our romancing souls
spring whispers,"I'll be there soon."
Let God keeps us save on treacherous roads
and dark days

Romantizing the Loser

LOser. A person who isn't driven by money but understand that homelessness sucks. THis was inspired by Beastie Boys Radio on Pandora. THe Beck song came on, and I realized that some of us want that enlightenment that happens when you create something. The high can be as strong as running five miles a day. It is a scientific fact that believing in something can help your brain waves whether religion, art, or reltionships. Well, help your brain waves.
LOsers do not associate with people who say there is no money in it. Yet they do it anyway. I have a self published book called When We Were Young and I believe it is a masterpiece. MOst of it is true except for the times I was too drunk to remember what exactly went on. It is not selling.
LOser for an outside observer who hears this may be insulted. Today I am satisfied with no gold on my fingers or around my neck. LOser are satisfied with the people they care about. As my brother use to say NOthing exceeds like excess. HOnestly we don't need all that stuff with the tech wars, name brand clothing, or expensive cars.
I was in New York last weekend, and saw Cat on A HOt tin roof by Tennessee Williams. Scarlett Joahnson's character at one time said similar to this,"It is okay to be poor when you are young but not when you're old." or something like that.
When I was young I was a full time dishwasher with a word processor.
LOve the simple things. MOney complicates things. Fame and fortune I don't think so.

1/18/13 On a plane heading north

not yet the comunity of ants with no room to build out but enough to build up
the lights below look like luminaries
off into the distance the future
by film directors of the 70's and 80's
can't quite tell what it is perhaps
little windows
staring back at this one
a charm braclet below dropped
by a daughter's wrist
from this high up
an X of yellow lights
roads lights up to the cities and towns
below
then darkness
lights the size of fleas not moving
but sucking on the night's ankles

1/24/13

different sizes of snowflakes fall
cardinals and blue jays can see the tiniest
they devour for hydration in the cold
this morning it was smooth pavement of snow
with only one set of car tires
now it has melted
the bark of the trees are exposed
and the wind cuts through them
like an entire dinner party of steak knives
the vessel I pay rent in has dropped anchor
the breeze still floats the sails
like clouds drifting off
the sun delightfully shines like a new quarter
my cat doesn't seem to understand
it is cold outside
he makes a faint cry of a meow
then looks in my direction
we both have cabin fever
but I am still lazy blue skies
warm inside

Art History

Vorticism
The painting that came up was Timon of Athens by Wyndham Lewis which was painted in 1914. It looked like he took a room from a house and kept rearranging it so there would be no windows, cluttered. This is what I use to draw in Biology 101.

Abstract Expressionism
Hans Hoffman Flight
Looks like pacman being eaten by ghost.

Abstract Expressionism-shows personality through spontaneity

Jackson Pollock
Lavender MIst: NUmber 1 1950
LOoks like a closeup of a grave stone that hasn't been engraved yet.

I decided to google art history. With google or any other search engine you can educate yourself in several forms of art. These are just some examples. Is it worth having student loans over. You are probably looking at my desribtions of the paintings and saying this guy is kind of stupid. Let me say this with the help of the army, I paid back my student loans.
I am probably in trouble now woops

uncertainties of youth to now

I miss the uncertainties of my youth
when experiencing something new
whether it be an idea or new experience
Sometimes I would get the shakes
or feel a nervous twitch
I don't think I've seen it all
but it is carbon copy rebellion
when I was young I had heros
Doing my own research I seen the darkness as well as treatment
Even Bukowski stopped drinking
they are forever young
forever immortal
Meanwhile I am inspired by sun sets
the thrill I have is based
that I don't have to compete
or prove myself to anyone
but still youth was so much fun

2 Crazy Poems

UNtitled
satellite explosion
only seen in the day
temporate technology
memory loss
symptoms of the sickness
eyes stolen by past silohettes
solar flares and shooting stars
stamp out the future
of the clestrial body
sporatically placed at night
light on the ground
makes it invisble like breathe
coughing while sleeping
the black will swallow us all
Does night need sustanance?
Why does day retreat?


Little Wars
sticks used as guns
rocks thrown like grenades
no one surrenders
no one claims victory
little wars with their own arms and legs
run untill it seems less important
or you find a girl
battlefield grows or become more complex
the little wars may look back
and laugh or cry
little wars revisited in photographs
look back and smile
juvenile blossom
the blossom withers away