The dragon Team-finding motivation

On a weekday about 6am to 6:30am we would be in formation for pt. THis was after our cigarettes. People who had quit started back up again because so many people smoked and smokers got breaks.
During P.T. we would stretch and prepare to go on our run which varied in length. Everyday that I was there I had to search for the strength because of my foot problem. The NCO's were tired of me complaining about it. An inspiring officer told me they couldn't take away sick call which they had forcing me to take the pain.
Some of the faces you would see in formation was C. C. had asked me if I wanted to sell marajuana with him and another guy. I asked him if he needed more money.He said no and then He said he didn't have an answer on why he wanted to sell. He also said that the platoon sergeant was involved which was either a lie or it just proves that even when your not at war you still need to dull your senses. Now I figure all C. needed was a pat on the back. He needed someone to not only motivate him but to tell him he was doing a good job.
Z. would tell you he was led by Jesus to join the army. He had a devotion everyday on his own. His superiors wanted him to be a sergent but he wanted to get out of the army.
Rumor had it, he was found with a girl in his room. Another soldier on our team ratted him out and the first sergeant walked in on him. He was forced to go to some NCO school. He said all he learned was how to wax a floor. He was proud of that fact.
I will mention the girl later.
M. I am not so sure why he joined. Maybe it was the signing bonus. He had a wife and a son. I thought this was pretty cool, his son was named Lucas as in the Cory haim movie. He talked about the movie all the time. I had seen it but I didn't remember it line for line like he could.
Then there was G. He told someone when he first showed up that he loved the army and he could see himself doing his twenty. After that statement I thought he was a kiss ass and I can't say that I liked him too much. We were unfortunately roomates. I did my best to be pleasant.
C., M. G., and I were going through in processing. In proccess because we had just graduated basic training and during our training in combat arms there was no women anywhere. There were finally women in our lives or kind of.
One woman was helping us get our gear. She had dark hair tanned skin and blue eyes. I forgot her name. G. made her laugh, and after we left with our gear he went back and got her phone number.
After in processing we were free to go back to our rooms. G. talked about the girl. I told him I saw a ring on her finger. At the time I forgot which finger was the right finger all I knew is that I saw a ring. This didn't stop him.
One night I had just gotten back from the field which I enjoyed. I would have rathered been in the field then be in the barracks or go through the day to day at Fort Irwin. Plus I don't know what it was but I enjoyed saluting high ranking officers. Most of the other privates were scared. I was impressed. How could they stay so long in the amry? HOw smart were they really? I wasn't smart enough to be an officer.
Anyway I got back from the field and I was very tired. I didn't even put my stuff away instead I crashed on my single sized bed as G. was trying to entertain the girl he had met during in processing. Soldiers didn't have a curfew for the most part but women could not be in the room after a certain time. I knew this G. knew this and yet I heard kissing. It sounded terrible to me. I put on MIles, and then turned it off because I thought I might have been helping the mood.
I said several times for them to quit. I hated being that guy but I was receiving mental pictures of the beer gutted happy go lucky G. kissing and doing god knows what else.
He eventaully came over and slapped me in the face. This was the same guy who would be close to tears during the chaplain service during basic training.
She left and he went running after her still wanting to get some. Suddenly I heard the section segerant's voice. I thought he would deal with it. In plane sight was G. and a girl after closing time so to speak. I was up in my bed with my leg on the floor ready to spring when he reentered the room. I wanted to get even. Instead the girl brought G. back to her house.
It took me awhile to go back to sleep after that. I debated rather or not I should talk to the section sergeant. I wondered what was going to happen with G. I wondered if I would be able to contain myself during formation tomorrow and not beat him to a pulp. I would have to contain myself alot in my short army life.
After the painful run G and I went back to the room. The run helped but I was still in pain my feet anyway.
I was sitting on my bed when he threw me a purple bag that read Crown Royal. I figured he drank the whole bottle or shared it with his little girlfriend.
Then this is kind of funny. He told me they broke up and then he gave me a slip of a ripped off piece of paper.
"What's this?" I asked.
He said her name an said she wanted me to call her. He told me she liked me more then him. Ha. I don't think G. got laid again for the time I was there.
I didn't call her for the shear fact she was with G. He disgust me. She had been tainted and I figured I would think of him kissing and doing God knows what else if I ever got with her.
She was infact married so I was right. I later learned alot of married army couples swap espeically when one was in the field or at war.
G. was never punished but he complained about me so much I later had to move out. He would pick the littlest thing.
I started hating the section segerant a little each time something liked that happened.
The section sergeant had a wandering eye. You remember the Edgar Allen Poe story about the mad man and the eye. That eye would distract me so much when he would be talking to me or yelling. I would think How can he aim his M-16 with an eye like that? or my eyes would just follow it where ever it went, and it did go all over the place.
Back to the girl that Z. may have or may have not slept with. She was pregnant.
Let me explain myself. In the army at a duty station you have to dig down deep to find motivation like any other job. That motiation could be a beer in the fridge, a strong cup of coffee, a sun rise, your favorite song. I was knew to the mojave desert, I hadn't been there for very long but I had been running out of ideas on how to motivate myself. I was in a deep dark depression. The beer alone wasn't cutting it.
One Friday night I went to a bar with M. She was sitting at a pub table drinking water. The ceiling light was shining on her as if it was a miracle- a miracle in one. There was of course the miracle of birth and the miracle of starting fresh a new life. She had blue eyes and blonde hair. She said repeatedly how she wished she could drink. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. As usual women might or might not understand what motivated a guy.I couldn't explain myself then and I am doing a poor job now. She was sitting under the artifiacl light of the bar and I told her several times that I thought she looked great even though I had never seen her before. A new life a clean slate going through the trial and love with the minor setbacks. I could take the pain after that. I figured it was just a part of life.
The president has asked us to serve. Some of you are at that age where you probably aren't sure what you are going to do. The army in many ways is a sink or swim life style. My so called army brothers would say I sank. My family would say there were under lining factors. Either way as a young man I figured I was learning how to mix with people who were totally different then I was.There are similarities in adult straight out of college learn about the real world out of college. I urge you all to celebrate life and celebrate our differences. We are not robots but are fully loaded souls some with families some without that live on to a goal even if it just the weekend.