If I hosted Saturday Night Live I would play into the fact I was nervouse and terrified of public speaking. I would tell the audience. There would be a long tube taped to my inner thigh that went down to my ankle. During the monalogue I would press the button so water would come out. The audience would think I was urinating. During my monalogue I would have story boards of children's book that I have written that were rejected by the publisher, such as: Daddy is a cross dresser and Johnny got his first boner to name a few.
I would have another tube inside of my arm and while I was showing the story boards I would vommit. After the vommiting and the urinating the janitor would comeout. He would survey the scene, shake his head, and then hand me the mop. Finally I would start mopping while telling the audience who was the band and that we are going to have a great show.
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