7/31/12
So symptoms edged and
inched into my brain as I somehow misplaced my entire iTunes library on my
computer. I must have tried for 3 hours to relocate it. I eventually found it
written down in my music file but still I couldn’t listen to it for whatever
reason.
I
thought my upstairs neighbor was behind it even though I reminded myself
several times that he had moved out or if he didn’t move out he was just really
quiet. I decided after picking up my pork fried rice from my favorite Chinese restaurant
that I would take a whole pill of meds instead of just the half.
I
hadn’t drunk since Saturday. It is now Tuesday so I figure drinking four days
back to back had something to do with it.
Schizophrenia
you feel the paranoia similar to illegal drugs but you don’t feel the high. You
constantly have to remind yourself that most of this isn’t actually going on.
I
woke up after 2pm today, not quite sure on the exact time. I usually only sleep
this late, after a night of heavy drinking.
I’ve
put my name out there to two volunteer jobs. Nothing yet.
Saturday
night there was a kiss cover band playing. I walked around mainly to check out
the girls. Funny, I don’t know what my type is but I know what it is not. This
was at Breakers.
I’ve
been seeing the same guy there. I say Hi he says nothing back. Of course my
paranoia happens but the thoughts don’t make any since. They don’t make any
since because I don’t tell anybody where I am going, but sometimes I feel like
people are following me. Again Ignore it chances are it isn’t actually going
on.
Before
that it was Applebee’s. Coming in I saw a friend, as I sat down I thought I
heard a girl at the bar say, “He has crazy eyes.”
I
probably did, because before I came out I thought I heard someone a neighbor or
someone in my building say, “If he goes out tonight, he’ll be arrested.”
Obviously I went out anyway.
Just
now a knock at my door, it is a soldier, I invite him in, and now he sitting
down wondering why I am writing this and staring at him at the same time.
“Do
you remember Doctor Wetter?” He asked.
“Yes,”
I answered,” he was the army doctor who diagnosed me plantar fasciitis.”
The
soldier laughed, “That is the least of you problems.”
That
kind of made me angry.
“Well,
I had a mental breakdown.”
“You
did, did ya?” The soldier asked sarcastically.
“Why
are you here?” I finally asked.
“Dr.
Wetter was in your corner. He wanted you to win the war all by yourself. The other
privates got jealous and thought otherwise.”
“They
duct taped me.” I said.
“Yes,
you were discharged with special powers. You are experienced another step of
evolution.”
“What
are you trying to say?” I asked.
“You
were tormented so much that you now can see other’s thoughts, and the government
is interested in you.”
“Why
am I asking you these questions, if I can see other’s thoughts?” I inquired.
“All
it takes to have your power is to make eye contact with you.” The soldier
answered with a big grin on his face. “I’ve blocked you out.”
“I
think you better leave.” I said getting pissed off.
“The
government keeps tabs on you sometimes, every couple of years. You may think
everything is fine but truth is you are creating a super human.”
He went on to say, “This is classified but you are a
hero. You go spreading that and people will think you are schizophrenic. The
two are similar.”
“How
are they similar?” I asked.
“A
schizophrenic will hear voices inside their head, but it is a delusion.
However, a person might have your special powers but the voices in their head
are from real people.”
“What if I wear sunglasses?” I asked.
The
soldier’s jaw dropped. Then it closed again and then he grinned.
“On
the asvab you tested at genius levels.”
The
soldier started walking to the door.
“Don’t
abuse it-“
“I
want to get even with my recruiter.”
“Tell
you what nothing over a sergeant first class. Do you remember what that is?”
The soldier asked.
“That
is three up, three down and two rockers.” I answered.
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