Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A state of Virginia

To the mountain that intersect this state
to the foliage in autmn
and the people in slow paces
yet raising the speed limit
multi colored Va
I leave my soul to
envelope
with the sunrise
to the cities like Richmond
to the traffic in NOva
saying the central
of Roanoke and
the moonshine
together let's speak of the glory of the south
conflicting maybe but still washed in
our freedoms
For now I am in the state of Virginia
and I can't leave
for now the glass is full
and Virginia yelps
like a wolf to their young
we are all here together
To the Virginia underground
to you above ground
we sing to love this
state we're in
 

untitled

The eyes of the goddess sharp edged broken mirror
scattered on the ground
whispering, I love you
in different languages
as it all went up in smoke
stinging my eyes
because I stood to close emotionally
not geographically
our lost children wander in exile
until the goddess and I come closer
until then It is I love you
in different languages
a lost breathless
emotionless kiss
for another stranger
scarred by the broken mirror

Monday, August 27, 2012

To live out loud

And in the grips of insanity
what carries my hope
what keeps me laughing
when the voices seem to control my mood
I've often said, Once you've lost it, you can't lose it again
I laugh
and no one else does
NOrmal so boring you might say
when my imperfections shine
like the one line of poetry
I am a writer
unoticed
changed by the real world
and in adulthood I value my smile
the struggle is beautiful
once you can look back at it
I find myself crying
it is better then scissor cuts
when I was an adolescent
or cigarette burns
NOw I've quit smoking
I have settled but these words might say otherwise
I am alone in the bliss
As a young man there was no one to tell me I would be this content at this age
I laugh
I sing
I dance
there is still fear
that I am trying to ignore
I ignore so that I might live out loud

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Tomorrow I might feel differently

We are imperfect. Our parents came together. They were imperfect. NOt to mention look at it as a Biology stand point We are full of mutations. Think of nature. TRy finding a straight line in nature. What angers me is mankind delusion of perfection. Things move to chaos. Some of you probably don't like when I get religious but deal with it. We are imperfect. LIfe is imperfect strive to follow chaos not perfection. And chaos isn't necasrily the end of a world but it is apart of imperfection.
Perfection isn't rememberable, but imperfection tells the best funny stories.
THe sermon I hear today was about facing your fear. I am not as brave as I was as a younger man. You could say the real world kicked my butt. You can also say I had to go crazy inorder to be a mature adult. Ha. I shared the sermon on my facebook and Twitter page. Please listen.
Some of you think that Christianity is opressive. How can God be opressive when he helps you to conquer fear. There is a verse in the bible, the truth will set you free

Saturday, August 25, 2012

weird poem about the rain

It keeps raining off and on
like a faucet or quick shower
the thundering soap drops on the floor
as the shower comes on again
we are under sheltor
as the rain makes up it's mind to rain harder
there's mist on my arm
the sliding door is open
Luckily I live alone
because of the tempermental shower
clothes are on
and cool air breaks up summer heat
as the seasons change, I sneeze
with the mist on my arm
Saturday night
and I don't think the shower will detour
the weekenders drinking their easy fix
temporary, temporary
change of rain
(car alarm)

Friday, August 24, 2012

Jason's Grass


Jason’s Permanent Grass

 

Jason liked all the colors in his crayon box. He had a brother who was already reading and spelling his own name. He had two parents who hid on purpose the permanent magic markers. Jason didn’t understand this. He wished his brother would help him out but his brother was too busy reading.

             There was a grey pencil on Jason’s coloring table where he set in his faded blue jeans and white t-shirt. When Jason thought of his grey boring pencil, he thought of a cloudy rainy day, a day where he couldn’t go out and play; a day where the greens of the grass could shine reminding him of the stains on his jeans.

            Jason’s crayon box didn’t just have green. It had what he believed was every color. It had so many colors with a dull point at the end that this viewer couldn’t name them all. It had midnight blue, gold, golden yellow, forest green, red orange to name a few.

Jason often figured why have a room in his house with just one color. His kitchen was all yellow, why not some shades of green. His kitchen reminded him of the sun but the sun helps to grow grass.

The kitchen needs grass he thought to himself early on Saturday morning. That’s right he was in bed thinking about drawing grass with a permanent marker in his kitchen that had no grass. It made since to Jason what a surprise.

Jason thought real hard about where is Mom put his permanent markers or his parent’s permanent markers.

Let me see, he thought to himself, I was coloring with them on the dinner table when mom got mad at me and snatched them away.

Jason would tell anybody with his own words that the dinner table was brown and it needed color.

Jason remembered hearing the hall closet opening. Luckily his daddy hadn’t put a lock on it like his mom had told him to do time and time again.

Jason figured he would need the dinner table chairs to get up there, and he was wide awake anyway so he got out of bed. He yawned once, stretched with his bright red bunny feet pajamas, and then went to the dinner table to drag the chair to the hallway closet.

Jason noticed the permanent markers lying slightly off the top shelf. He put the dinner chair in the right spot and climbed up. On top of the chair, he was still too small to grab the markers so he used his tippy- toes and grabbed them with his finger tips.

 Two of the first words Jason ever said were, “Permanent Marker.” He loved to color even before he couldn’t pick them up all the way.

He ran with his 2 year old feet with his permanent markers to the kitchen. There weren’t as many colors in this box as his crayons. Jason slid out the green, took the top off and then wondered if this was a good idea.

Jason saw the yellow, and sprung into action scribbling the walls with grass.

Jason’s actions of the morning woke up his brother Philip. It was hard being an older brother and Philip wondered what his kid brother had gotten into. Philip put on his house slippers and slid into the kitchen.

An outside observer wouldn’t understand Jason’s genius with the yellow wall paper symbolizing the sun and grass all around the kitchen.

Jason will be in trouble, Philip thought. He smiled devilishly and ran to his parent’s room where they were snoring fast asleep.

Philip shook them up gently.

“Mom, dad you’re not going to like this.”

Need I remind you that it was Saturday and the Jepson family especially the parents like to sleep in on Saturday’s. They followed their oldest to the kitchen in fast steps.

Jason’s mom gasped him horror and his dad’s glazed over. They could tell by the marker still in Jason’s hand that this was permanent marker. There will not have a lazy Saturday today they both thought too themselves.

The rest of the Saturday, was spent by Jason’s parents cleaning the grass on the sunshine yellow wall paper of the kitchen.

Months later they moved from that house but Jason’s grass still stood on the walls of the kitchen.  

 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Perception in our reality

I looked up perception today and saw a bunch of five dollars words that I didn't know what they meant. SO I will use the example they used, They used the European Peacock butterflies. THese butterflies have wings that bear eyes so birds think the eyes are the eyes of a preditor.
Romney claims (and he says this alot) that under Obama's health care law there were cuts up to $716 billion taken out of the medicare trust.
According to Politifact, Neither Obama or his health care law literally cut funding from the medicare budget. The new health care law insituted a number of changes to try to bring down future health care cost in the program.
Now the Gop's convention theme: "You didn't build that."
This was from media matters. On this website there was Obama's actual quote. I will sum it up,
Obama:Individual drive, infrastructure, teachers contribute to small business success. The quote by Obama ended by saying,"Youre not on your own, we are in this together."
Media Matters says Fox News and friends deceptively Edited Obama's comments on small business.
I will go back to perception. I don't think all conservatives are bad, and I am sure that there are some extreme liberals that have done their fair share of editing. I urge you to check the facts. Check the evidence untill you are blue in the face.
The media gets their money by creating contraversey.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Gonzo after the rain

Sky racing neon stripes
one headlight fading
cresent moon
more action
then stagnant asphalt
parking lot white lines
moist evening
from numerous rain
but not to heavy
the crowd burst
with the cricket chirp
the old man exhales clouds
evening drips into the cup
windshield rainbow
while non other are seen
lights are on music stands
music of engines heard around
debating air conditioners
creep little pedestrian ants
balconies empty
dumpster full
speed bumps and stop signs
ignored
never ending mosquito bites
itching to stay outside 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Ambassador of You

I can be a bit of a nerd. I looked up ambassador and part of it said, "An unoffical represenative< traveling abroad as ambassadors of goodwill.
I think about when I was a volunteer for this prodimatley African Amercian school. I didn't want them to think that all white people were bad. The challenges at this particular school was tough. Some did shine.
So what can you conclude, be the ambassador of you rather it be goodwill or a rock star. I urge you to be as open minded as you can be. How do you want to be remembered by the next generation? Do you want to be an influence? If you give to them, I assure you they will give to you.
I am just saying... 

Everything is Possible sermon

We are still in Mark.
When my pastor was speaking during this sermon I got an illustration about faith. I figure just for me but I am willing to share.
Imagine, or maybe it is like this,  you have a hole in your heart or soul like Springfield Gorge. You visit the gorge or hole and sometimes that hole visits you. Hear me out. Faith. Do you believe you can get across? Maybe build a bridge, make a rope swing and swing across or jump across. Or maybe you just want to put  a dead end sign there and tell kids to not go near or they will fall in. How can you get across? Are you willing to get across?
My pastor went into that faith can't exist without doubt. He also said in so many words that we are helpless like little kids and that is when God works for us.
A few things comes to mine about my own life. I won't go into it because some of you already know how I personally have been helpless.
How about this story. I haven't touched a cigarette since Father's day. I used to smoke so much that my fingers were brown. I used to smoke so much that I was throwing away ten dollars a day. People who know me figured if I was around then I will be smoking. If I was at a sit down restaurant with my parents then I would have to stand up and go outside to smoke about twice or more.
Now it isn't always a hole but it can be a weight. Smoking was a weight on my shoulders. I had tried to quit. I used the patch, the gum, and even tried cold turkey. Mom had not necssarily given up on me but had stopped bringing it up about how I should quit. Dad was annoying he brought it up often.
It took a scary moment a bad cough and chest pains to realize cigarettes were taking their toll on me. Now I am addicted to lacenges.
When I smoked maybe after coughing a lung up or just looking around my apartment at the clouds of smoke I would pray. "Jesus, I want to quit but it is too hard. Jesus, help me. Jesus is it your will?"
Now I still have cravings, but now I have a little bit more money. Last night I was at a bar. There was a smoker to my left and a smoker to my right. DO you think their cigarettes smelled good? Of course they did, but I had my lacenges and like us all I value control.
Life is alot less stressful when you can talk to God when ever you feel like it. 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

what is left of the mountain

the melancholy mountains
vulnurablity
roaring streams and waves
break it all down to plains
the gound fights it
but water cuts and smooth away rock
the sky smothers the sands
the clouds adds a dregree of softness
but even that blows away with
the snores of the wind
we grow tired
a break down
from our toes to our necks
as we grow old
future generations
complete the cycle
to venture in our steps
not taken
possessions are left
maybe are passed on to youth
material things can't breathe life into
a decaying body
only thoughts
emotions
feelings
are remembered
with no true value
but they last like the oak
they last in the form
of tears laughter and clarity
they last in rage and regret
sometimes satisfaction
like coolness of thundertorms
in the hell of Summer
misery will not consume
what is left of the mountain




Friday, August 17, 2012

Losers should write history; a call to weirdos

WHen it comes to reading I usually can't stay on the same book. I started  A FArewell to Arms but then started reading THe BIrth of the Beat Generation.
I read some writing about William B. The guy had some issues and I cant help but feel if they had the break threws in Pshycology now then maybe the beats wouldn't happen. I read part Of gensburgs diaries and couldn't help but see that the misfits understand this country better then the mainstream. Afterall the majority has had a history of being wrong in this country such as slavery and segragation to name a few.
If we would have listened to the so called losers the so called misfits before hand would we be in this mess.
Burroughs was a part of a well to do family. After he graduated from Harvard his family sent him to Europe so you can't say he did have the oppatunity to succeed in the comman since. I've read JUnky and thought it was a great book. It is about him on drugs.
For those of us who do not have the money, who don't seek the right partner and who don't have majority's view on whatever. I can't help but think we should be part of the mainstream. The funny thing is if you look at clothes for kids now they are similar to what I used to wear. A good friend of mine would come to school with bed head and now that is the style with gell of course.
The struggle, some use medication most do not, how can you not see the losers view point. I say loser because I was called a loser several times in my life and now have some pride that I am not conforming to society materialistics ways. I buy what I need. The runaway slave had a voice. The rebellious teenager has  a voice. We should really listen to what the past and present have to say. Chances are it isn't the voice of the country club or from the woman with the fur coat but the man serving these people.  As a whole we've had the same opportunities so write it down on whatever you have. Write your story down. Someone will read it. Educate people about yourself.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Just Another Creepy Guy

When I go to the grocery store, I try my best to say hello or do as little as a smile to a stranger. Nobody expects this. Today I was in the beer asile and a man had shiner bock. I said,"Shiner Bock that sounds like a good idea." He didn't say anything. I guess he was surprise or even scared. I beleive we are all Americans or even human beings so we should be able to talk to anyone, even if it is just pleasantries.
Was I trying to make a new friend or even have a drinking buddy, No. I simply think, "nice weather we are having" will break through lost expressions.
It is important that you do this in grocery stores or movies theatre not bars. Dinking lowers your inhibitions at it is usually unreal.
Today I found that white people are more reserved. African Americans were different. As I got my six pack of shiner block I stood behind this African American woman who had a tiny buggy of groceries. She looked at them and then decided to leave. She looked at me and said,"I came here for greeting cards."
I noticed one in her buggy and said,"There's one."
And she said I need more.
Then there was an African AMercian man who checked me out in the line. He was close to my age. The youngens or his work associates were talking about Madden, you know the video game. And he said I've been playing MAdden since 1994. I personally don't play video games but I was interested. The Asian bagger asked him what are you favorite video games. I didn't recongize most of them except MOrtal Combat. THe man checking me said his mom wouldn't let him buy the game but he played it in the arcade. Remember arcades?
I can't help but dig little coversations like this. People are cool. Politcs won't unify us but beer will possibly even video games. We need to be able to talk to each other face to face.
  

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Fugazi on Pandora 2

I don't think it gets much better then hearing MInor Threat sing Steppin' Stone. In my earlier years I would prbably feel the need to throw something or break some glass, but now I just listen. Punk Music something like food that your parents will never understand. Pixies to Nirvana drinking dos equis doing the Gonzo thing and feeling good.
You know what I am considered a yuppy now so I am going to do my best to explain punk rock to someone who would other wise not understand.
Imagine this day- Your alarm clock doesn't go off at the right time, you scramble to get your clothes on, no time for coffee you step outside and step in dog shit, this creates a smell even though you took a shower, driving to work you stop suddenly and a car hits you from behind. You call ahead to work while the police come. Police come and they determine it is your fault, You don't have the money for an attorney so you have to pay, you go to work with the back of your car mashed up. You arrive at work and find the bosses son got the promotion you worked so hard to get, nepatism. Anger rage all the things your God says you shouldn't have inflict you however they are very human which is imperfect. It takes an unlucky person with nothing to understand punk not a real house wife.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Transformation. Thank you to Brian Gullins. Response to Guess speaker of Area 10 church

Transformed definitly but just because you have changed doesn't mean there isn't an action or even a single word that makes you feel contrainted like you're in a jail cell or even makes you cry. When he started talking about abuse I lost it. Maybe it takes a break down to be transformed. That one word abuse shuts me down. I don't want to be in public and I don't want to share my feelings.
My prayers are simple. They are usually help me. I pray for this for the simplest things.
Several days I feel the weight on my shoulders I do my best to get rid of it. I have forgiven( my whatever you want to call them) but I don't think I can sit in the same room as them.
This afternoon I was awaken by thunder. I saw no lightening but the rain washed away the dirt. I saw that this particular sermon was 50 minutes long which I thought was long but I listened to it anyway.
I think it is still sprinkling outside. I feel like walking my mile walk and getting outside this prison cell. The door is always opened.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Separation


Separation



I’ve dropped out

I’ve moved down

But for then

I was split in two

All ears

I could only listen

Occasionally I tired

To make them laugh

Even if I was the fool

2 individuals

Experiencing a low

I tried my best to suggest

It could get worse

It never did

It grew from one conversation

Into a union

Making our family whole

We grew

Standing on a solid rock foundation

That will take the end of the world to break

Until then

Enjoy your grand kids.

The First Time I wanted to Write

The first time I wanted to write , I didn't know how to write, however I knew my alphabet. My families' cat, Muffin, just got ran over by a car. I thought it was my fault, because I didn't shut the screen door fast enough. Muffin ran out to the street. We rushed to the vet, and I was late to school. Muffin ended up being okay but it took awhile.
Later on that evening, my family and I were visiting a neighbor. I always had a notepad. It was there when I started to want to write in a journal. I asked my dad to help me out.
Even then I figured a journal should be private so I gave up on writing untill the seventh grade.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Selfless

She didn't have a vacation until close to eighty.
Before then she fed her love once including
her kids and grand kids before she ate.
then there was the jocky lot in Anderson south Carolina,
she was so excited by the deals
for the most bizarre things, she said, the word
jocky lot in one mouth full without breathing
the jocky lot which was one masssive yardsale
she raised four kids
with about five grand kids
selfless she would given it all
and she did to her love ones
but her first vacation was at the beach
she questioned whether or not the sand would hold her up
when she stepped on the sand she thought it felt like sugar
she spend an extended period of time watching the birds
and collecting the treasures on the beach
even the treasures she didn't keep
she gave them to her neighbors in
the nursing home.
the selfless seek contentment
not with money but the satisfaction of others

Thursday, August 2, 2012


PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE



2008- COMING OF AGE STORY A MODERN DAY “ON THE ROAD” THAT REFLECTS THE EXPERIENCES OF AMERICAN YOUTH IN THE NINETIES

When we were Young

 is released by author Jason Jepson



In this fictionalized memoir, author Jason Jepson writes about growing up in America during the 1990’s. The story opens not long after the Columbine shootings. Jonah, the young protagonist, is himself a bit of an outsider, but his shaved head and off-beat way of dressing belie his true innocence and naiveté.



When we were Young chronicles the life of Jonah from high school through graduation and the summer before he finally starts college. Like a modern day Kerouac, Jonah and his friends spend their days and nights in their small Virginia town drinking cheap coffee in the diner, wandering around looking for something to do and experiencing a few drunken nights and an  occasional sexual encounter with a girl. Later when Jonah moves to the capital and lives in an apartment without heat and becomes a struggling young writer, we can’t help but root for him.



When we were Young is a coming of age story full of typical experiences of middle class American youth in the nineties. Jonah’s story is neither unique nor remarkable, but Jepson’s ability to write it all down with such clarity and candidness makes this a journey worth taking.



----------





For further information contact: Ray Robinson at 317-228-3656, via email at RayR@DogEarPublishing.net,  or through the website at: www.dogearpublishing.net



When we were Young


Jason Jepson

Dog Ear Publishing

ISBN: 978-159858-757-9                     176 pages                                                                                                              US



Available at Ingram, Baker&Taylor, Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble, Borders and fine bookstores everywhere

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Quote from Winston Churchill

"We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
He said something else (atleast I think it was him) something like he understands when he was young being liberal but as an older man being conservative.
Two people that I love immensely have posted things on facebook against my view on chic-filet. One was that is was freedom of speech, the other one was a pic of Linsey Grahm eating chic-filet.
Do you remember freedom fries? I personally always wanted to go to Paris. People have forgotten about it now.
This quote speeks volumes to me. My thoughts go way back to high school with the whole freak and prep little separation there. What side were you on? I can have a beer with anyone now.
Our right to disagree is AMerican, however when there is no compromise it can be anarchy.
Raised by educators I don't understand why conservatives always want to cut the education budget. I wish someone would explain it to me.
If you are only communicating with people who feel the exact same you do then you are stuck in the mud.
As a moderate I agreed with investing in enviromental savy businesses. MOst didn't work out. Now should we have not invest in the enviroment? No but maybe it shouldn't have been as much.
Obama Care. My fellow mental health consumers would most likely be turned away from an insurance company for pre-exisiting conditions. That is really all I understand about the new health care law.
Bigotry. I think it can have a different definition for everybody.