untitled

In the light I fall short
In the lights I feel warm
the cold pushed me further
I am wrapped in open space
weeping at the appraoching winter
as an arm reaches for me
from the depths of darkness
I choose the light while it last

PURPLE CONVERTIBLE

My firend drove it
he was the middle child
of his family
and each kid got to drive
there was always an oil filter in
the glove compartment
that he can change at a moments notice
there was a hole in the floor on the driver's
side so you could see the street
shared the same color with the high school
we both attended
So
During the Homecoming parade
my firend had spirit

We would both stand up in it
while it was being driven
one hand would be in the air
and I would feel like royalty

I heard it survived the youngest kid
but then died when it was not longer needed

BUt that car was my first
convertible

Let me explain
it was the first convertible
I could ride in it anytime
I wanted to

Who To Trust

Early afternoon raining bullets
spotlight shined on all of us
We must be guilty
from confessing
our slip is hanging
dreams aren't bullet proof
the baby blues are a
cinical being
tired of shaking too many hands
networking for shade
four legged feline our only friend
to say goodbye
as the firing squad blows away with the clouds
the slight touch of another
redeemable human breathes
life between these lungs
that once debated getting out of bed
who to trust
who to trust
who trust 

The church without walls, but a sheltor from the rain

the people sing and cry out to be touched
God answers and touches the willing
The willing?
the outcasts and margin walkers
they feel the presence of Jesus
and the hair on the back of their neck stand up
they shiver as if they are cold
but inside feel warm like an embraceable new born
no walls but still a shield from evil
people outside question but cannot shut their ears
they inquire
how can the members be satisfied without fiances
"We feel humbled"
songs create an atomic boom
washing the surrounding communities
feeling only two words
"God's Love"
the invitations are infinite
and the services don't have
a beginning or ending
sin evaporates and disappears
sin falls beneath their feet as they all stand to rejoice
never growing tired
the spirit is nutrients
the spirit has no boundaries
and the church grows up and out

My Friend the Painter

I would ask my friend how would your capture thunder and lightening
the sky has sploches of battleship grey and white
mixing and covering the sun
thunder explodes halting your thoughts
like a surprise tap to the shoulder
rain descend splattering the page
shelter can only cover so much
so I go inside where the ink doesn't smear
the storm is filtered on a page of lines and on the canvas
I don't have the mind to capture thunder
the thunder like roaring ships
on a sea of storms
lightening like shots from the massive guns
rain falling like water from fountains in the sky
while the scuptures are the clouds
as the ship goes away at sea
 

Misfires from a Lyrical Mind

You can buy my new book for your kindle. JUst go to amazon and search for Misfires from a Lyrical Mind. It will only cost you .99 cents

Pretty Girl-dedicated to my niece

Pretty girls with celestial eyes
stop crying
because your tears are liquid gold
dance around unbalanced
giggles are addicting
smiles balance our steps
pretty girl
the sun will come out tomorrow
I know it is early spring
sometimes nature throws a curve
pretty girl
don't have to try to be cute
you are already so photogenic
your momma and daddy loves you
and the rest of us think
you are a missing piece of a fallen star
free spirited little girl
you are making firends
firends that will dance with you
pretty girl you are a piece of the stars
you've fallen in your mother's arms

area10blog- Living with Freedom (freewrite)

When I was alot younger then I am now, I bought a t-shirt that had an anarchy symbol on the front. ON the back it said PUnk is not dead. I got it from a store similar to Hot Topic. I was a poser.
I was still living underneath my parents roof, and I thought punk or even myself would eventaully over throw the governemnt and we would have anarchy. Only problem was how do you start something like that. I didn't know.
With Freedom, too much of anything can be a bad thing. Too much alcohol, drugs and mayhem is  a bad thing just ask Sid Vicious. If you can find him.
As adults we are free but they are some contraints, such as the laws. With anarchy someone can still your car and nothing would be done about that.
The sermon even discussed that most people's outside view of Christians is that they don't have fun. Growing up in a church I had the same view but now I see Fun as something that runs out. I am 32 now and beer gut doesn't look sexy. Not to mention, alcohol's influence can promote bad diecision making. My pastor says the bible says don't get drunk it doesn't say not to drink. HOwever, for me 1 beer can turn into three, can turn into five and so on. For me I try not to drink.
As far christians not having any fun, it are depends on the christian. Right now I am listening to the ventures, and before that it was the jazz giants Dizzy and Charlie Parker. I always have to have music going on in my apartment.
In todays society it seems that the world wants you to drink. This goes way beyond beer comercials. I guess we all need some kind of vice.
In the words of HUnter S. Thompson, you can turn your back on a firend but you can't turn your back on a drug. With alcohol you never know how a person is going to react. In bar scene was wrong glance was wrong motion can mean alot.  Having smarts about drugs or bars doesn't put money in your back account it takes money away.
I am rambling now so I better stop.
 

 

Shivering Straight jackets

Breeze blazes blue
trees ascend with buds open to cool
First day of spring
and winter has extended it's grip
first day of spring
snow flakes may fall
cool kingdom spreading out in clouds
the fortress is crumbling
and the king sprinkled his
gold through the glass
while wind whirls
entangled branches
the guards shiver while rooftops
split cool covering sighs
to the overthrow
layering us with straight jackets in the asylum

3/17/13 sermon chosen by God

The world or America wants us to live the dream. The dream is to work hard, get married, have kids, and live in a nice house. Some of you are probably thinking that diesn't exist anymore, and some of you are probably taken the dream to the next level. Providing for you family is one thing, but turning your kids into deush bags is another. KIds do not need a brand new car when they turn sixteen. THey don't need name brand clothes, or the latest greatest Iphone. KIds shouldn't be in the mind set that they are too good to work at some job where they cleanup after others or serve the public.
Todays sermon was entitled-Exile Chosen by God. It takes place in 1 Peter. Peter says we are living stones for God's house. WE are just a little piece of the puzzle.
If God is or was in your household, you will see change.
I grew up in a Southern Baptist church. Looking back, I think there were many nice people there. HOwever as a kid I could only see the conservative view. Meanwhile I was getting into punk rock, and I was raised to be democrat. I was in the minority.
Some of you have probably heard something in the church or from so called religious people that turned you off.
Personally I think when mankind gets involved with anything it becomes corrupt. I know I am not  perfect. HOnestly there are some days when I don't feel like reading my devotions from Chuck Swindoll-no particular reason just laziness.
For those of you who have left. GOd wants you and he never left you. GOd has no interest in materialistic things some people want.
God wants you. He wants a schizophrenic, an alcoholic, sometimes socially awkward, sometimes man with a mousey voice, fat guy. But he not only wants you, he wants you to spread the story of how he has changed you. MIssions fields can be anywhere. Have strength. You may be rejected, and you may even be laughed at, who cares!
 

Snow day

I don't like celery. It is carrots unwelcomed brother. It has winkles, and it taste terrible with its weird texture. As a kid I liked celery with peanut butter. I licked the peanut butter then choked down the celery. It is sub par. Kermit the frog sings, it isn't easy being green but celery you have nothing going for you besides being green. You come in a bunch and at the end you just suck. Carrots and brocolli are successful vegetables but you sleep all day you have never worked except for being awful. Celery you don't deserve to be on a salad or in my chicken pot pie. If I liked ranch that could cover up your taste but you suck and so does your color. You are a pare green while brocolli is like yeah I am two shades of green, cook me baby. but celery you just suck. 

Epic POem (fiction)

THe end was posted on a bed sheet
nailed to a wall
we watched enlightened
as our fate reign throughout
the sky fell
and the earth was on fire
the end was televised
or it could be streamed on your labtop
we laughed and cried
like fools debating
what should we spend our last dollar on
cell phones lost their charge
and nature was victorious
the lights were on inside yet dim
we couldn't tell if it was day or night outside
missing pieces of the sky were faded red
what was left of the earth was ash and mud
stunned we viewed the screen
and turned to view outside
to be certain the end was really going on
without heart stopping ring tones
mountain roared down like waves in the ocean
water evaporated
leaving our mouths dry
then finally decending from the sky,
besides the last fragments of the horizon,
the chosen one in armor that
shined passed the sun blinding our eyes
the massive figure's face could not be viewed
People in the shape of stars formed a symphony
the melody quivered our spines
they played and we rose through
the fragile roof over our heads
some stayed and mixed with mud and ash
we entered a new dimension
that non-believers said was not true
they cried out, "NOw I beleive!"
Suddenly the ground shook and broke apart
devouring what was left of earth
the melody brought infalliable souls together
in a worldly reunion

3/413

the sun twinkles through the glass
as the day fades
a phantasm
when you step outside
to feel the thorns of chill
from the wind
you thought spring is here
there's also snow in the forecast
yet the cat still inquires
about the reflection
 the face of my watch makes on the wall
not swallowed by light
the sky is clear and mellow
wishing it was spring too
so we could put the coats away

What can you share?

In a world, where everything (philosophically speaking) has been thought of and every story has been told, where do you stand? I usually share my blog on facebook. THere I have conservative firends, liberal firends, believers, and non-believers. There are kids, parents singles, etc. THey are all good people.
I on occassion try to think of things that we would all agree on. Parents may agree that they want their kids to have some morals or they want their kids to have a good work ethic. Conservatives and liberals may agree that we should help those less fortunate. Conservatives and believers may agree that you have to make things happen for yourself.
I have listened to the sermon a couple weeks ago, and have come to the conclusion that we are on this earth to help others.
Helping others doesn't have to be earth shattering.
I havea relative who fly kites on the beach. HIs kites have beautiful colors that attract all kinds of people. THe people come up to him and he answers their questions and if he figures they are strong enough he let's them fly them. I bring this up because your hobby can be shared.
I have been asked to have a writing workshop for my fellow veterans. Problem is I am terrified of public speaking. My doctor says that writing doesn't always come nature for everybody. That is another reason why I don't want to do it. HOwever, the release I feel when I write down something that may only be profound to me, can't be measured. Maybe that is what my relative feels when he answers questions about his kites. That is a reason why I would like to do it.
What can you share with others? 

Love and the writer

MOthers girlfriends and wives
delute the writer
I'm not saying that is a bad thing
but once the writer is cured from
his insanity and loneliness
the words aren't so inspiring
Maybe the writer thinks
the events of love
can't be written down
if attempted the words
will go through a filter
LOve for a writer
words can be a friend
that you out grow
you try to relive it
 but it ends up just being break up poetry
without a muse
without a the muse or love
the writer walks with bad posture
similar to the Greek GOd Atlas
who has the weight of the world on his shoulders
with the love maybe the writer smiles
possibly
chooses water over beer
Hemingway was addicted to wives
look what happen to him

Teenager in love with Alone

Morning dove hums
like fingers perfectly placed on a six string
there is no sun
the branches of the trees are naked
the day hasn't extended its arms to embrace him
full black top parking lot
standing still
like a teenager with no one to kiss at the dance
observations becomes still lives
for the brain
and the teenager tells himself he
will never feel this lonely again
But alone might as well be a long lost cousin
or the family nickname
he wishes there was a sun to rise
so the night would finally be over
He is lost in stills as people congregate
for something or someone else
He is lost yet finds the strength to smile
He whistles to the virgin alone
the fair skin
the trend setter
the buzz from the boose
and the touch of fingertips
gently tapping up his arm
He smiles and vocalizes,
"Alone, Alone never leave for I am a soldier without a war!"
the teenager drives away
to the morning dove
that sounds like it is
immunlating his sighs of relief
rich kids, poor kids,
middle children can't disrupt the morning dove
and the teenagers contentment

Spring Day

The sky opened up like a book
written by a lyrical mind
the sun embraces
with a warm hug
from when I was a child
visiting grandparents
communities arise for a taste of spring on a typical cold month
and this is what we fight for
FAMILY
even if not the same blood line
as the sun descends
the sky releases us
in faint blue eyes
HOw long as it been?
A phone call isn't good enough.
and spring is coming again 

response to sermon

As far as youth goes, I've walked on egg shells made of hot coals. Adulthood, my brain misfire reasoning but there is always a line to walk on or to hold that let's me know that some things aren't actually going on. God wants all of it. The imagination of a child to the reasoning of an adult (normal adult).
In my opinion, people who refer to themselves as athiest see some of us as loving God half ass. THey don't know but that is what I see them not understanding. If I hung out with some old friends I know that my faith would be tested. I am not the best debator or arguer. I have seen the change and those small moments when I have nothing to do and an impulse, a voice, or just motivation gets me to open up my bible and read. If you listened to area 10 sermon entitled curiosity you know that I am off track.
I can personally say on somedays my mind isn't 100% on God. THe fact god takes anybody and I do mean anybody tells about the ideal christian. In my opinion, the ideal christian doesn't hate a group of people. THe last judgement is with God. A constant belief for christianity is to love thy neighbor as you love yourself. You can take neighbor as meaning your fellow man or woman. Am I going to hate the gay man who wants get married? No. Am I going to hate the athiest who has anti-God stickers on his car? No. I will pray.
Look up area10blog and listen to a sermon or two. It will erupt your thinking. For you artist out there it might create motivation to paint or write. But we have to remember the reasoning part that has that curiosity. Even the pastor is the type of guy who asks why. Aparently he found those asnwers with GOd.   

schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a full time job and marriage. We are talking MIke Brady, six kids and a job as an achitect. When I go out it isn't to meet woman, it is because I need to get out of my apartment. I see a movie or a go to a neighborhood bar for a few beers. With schizophrenia and with any other illnesses you can either let it beat you down or do your best to live a normal life. NOrmal LIfe? Some of you are probably asking, you know what a normal life is when you have an illness, even if it just the flu.
When schizophrenia goes untreated it can be drastic-life altering. I am sure you all are aware by the gun control talks. Mental health consumer should not own guns.
NAMI is a good organization to educate yourself. Whether you have mental illness or no someone who has one check it out.

 

1/27/13 Romantizing the day

For you I wish
everything can be brand new
for a child-like wonder
for a sun rise
or Christmas day
Forget about the prosperous few
Some things are still simple and free
even when wallets are light
and rent is paid
No one is average
and we have not seen it all
as this ink dries out
lives are bullet proof
and our hopeful thoughts
decorate the skies
while you see clouds
and feel cool
the blues seeping through
invade our romancing souls
spring whispers,"I'll be there soon."
Let God keeps us save on treacherous roads
and dark days

Romantizing the Loser

LOser. A person who isn't driven by money but understand that homelessness sucks. THis was inspired by Beastie Boys Radio on Pandora. THe Beck song came on, and I realized that some of us want that enlightenment that happens when you create something. The high can be as strong as running five miles a day. It is a scientific fact that believing in something can help your brain waves whether religion, art, or reltionships. Well, help your brain waves.
LOsers do not associate with people who say there is no money in it. Yet they do it anyway. I have a self published book called When We Were Young and I believe it is a masterpiece. MOst of it is true except for the times I was too drunk to remember what exactly went on. It is not selling.
LOser for an outside observer who hears this may be insulted. Today I am satisfied with no gold on my fingers or around my neck. LOser are satisfied with the people they care about. As my brother use to say NOthing exceeds like excess. HOnestly we don't need all that stuff with the tech wars, name brand clothing, or expensive cars.
I was in New York last weekend, and saw Cat on A HOt tin roof by Tennessee Williams. Scarlett Joahnson's character at one time said similar to this,"It is okay to be poor when you are young but not when you're old." or something like that.
When I was young I was a full time dishwasher with a word processor.
LOve the simple things. MOney complicates things. Fame and fortune I don't think so.

1/18/13 On a plane heading north

not yet the comunity of ants with no room to build out but enough to build up
the lights below look like luminaries
off into the distance the future
by film directors of the 70's and 80's
can't quite tell what it is perhaps
little windows
staring back at this one
a charm braclet below dropped
by a daughter's wrist
from this high up
an X of yellow lights
roads lights up to the cities and towns
below
then darkness
lights the size of fleas not moving
but sucking on the night's ankles

1/24/13

different sizes of snowflakes fall
cardinals and blue jays can see the tiniest
they devour for hydration in the cold
this morning it was smooth pavement of snow
with only one set of car tires
now it has melted
the bark of the trees are exposed
and the wind cuts through them
like an entire dinner party of steak knives
the vessel I pay rent in has dropped anchor
the breeze still floats the sails
like clouds drifting off
the sun delightfully shines like a new quarter
my cat doesn't seem to understand
it is cold outside
he makes a faint cry of a meow
then looks in my direction
we both have cabin fever
but I am still lazy blue skies
warm inside

Art History

Vorticism
The painting that came up was Timon of Athens by Wyndham Lewis which was painted in 1914. It looked like he took a room from a house and kept rearranging it so there would be no windows, cluttered. This is what I use to draw in Biology 101.

Abstract Expressionism
Hans Hoffman Flight
Looks like pacman being eaten by ghost.

Abstract Expressionism-shows personality through spontaneity

Jackson Pollock
Lavender MIst: NUmber 1 1950
LOoks like a closeup of a grave stone that hasn't been engraved yet.

I decided to google art history. With google or any other search engine you can educate yourself in several forms of art. These are just some examples. Is it worth having student loans over. You are probably looking at my desribtions of the paintings and saying this guy is kind of stupid. Let me say this with the help of the army, I paid back my student loans.
I am probably in trouble now woops

uncertainties of youth to now

I miss the uncertainties of my youth
when experiencing something new
whether it be an idea or new experience
Sometimes I would get the shakes
or feel a nervous twitch
I don't think I've seen it all
but it is carbon copy rebellion
when I was young I had heros
Doing my own research I seen the darkness as well as treatment
Even Bukowski stopped drinking
they are forever young
forever immortal
Meanwhile I am inspired by sun sets
the thrill I have is based
that I don't have to compete
or prove myself to anyone
but still youth was so much fun

2 Crazy Poems

UNtitled
satellite explosion
only seen in the day
temporate technology
memory loss
symptoms of the sickness
eyes stolen by past silohettes
solar flares and shooting stars
stamp out the future
of the clestrial body
sporatically placed at night
light on the ground
makes it invisble like breathe
coughing while sleeping
the black will swallow us all
Does night need sustanance?
Why does day retreat?


Little Wars
sticks used as guns
rocks thrown like grenades
no one surrenders
no one claims victory
little wars with their own arms and legs
run untill it seems less important
or you find a girl
battlefield grows or become more complex
the little wars may look back
and laugh or cry
little wars revisited in photographs
look back and smile
juvenile blossom
the blossom withers away